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  1. Vincen't Wong's Avatar
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      • Taiwan
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      • Taiwan

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
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    #1

    Post could anyone help me to check my writing ? 5

    Although my english is limited , but I will try hard to learn

    Topic:

    You are the chairperson of the school hiking club. Recently there have been several reports of accidents that have happened to people hiking on their own in remote areas.
    Write article for your school newspaper offering advice to students on safety measures that they need to take when hiking and what they should do in case of an emergency. Give your article a title.

    Hiking tips

    Recently, there are more and more people injured during hiking alone in remote area. In order to keep students safe when they are hiking alone. I would like to provide some viable advice to you on safety measures during hiking and what you would prepare in case of emergency.

    To begin with, you should drink water frequently during hiking and bring enough water before hiking. As we know. Hiking is a physically demanding exercise. Hikers bodies thus need a large amount of water for the heat radiation through sweating when they are hiking. If we lose too much water and lack compensation of enough water through drinking, we will be dehydrated and even losing consciousness. As a result, hikers should drink more and prepare enough water for the hiking to keep your bodies safe.

    In addition, you should take rest frequently when hiking. Many people were eager to reach mountaintop so as to achieve their goal as soon as possible. Moreover, they often ignored that they had not enough energy to keep climbing without a rest. That attitude is dangerous for our health. Hiking is a time-consuming and exhausting activity so students could not act in haste. They need to hike slowly. It not only allows them to recover their energy, but also reduces their dangers during hiking.

    Apart from this, I recommend that you can bring an extra phone for hiking. The phone could help you to call the police when you encounter emergency even if your original phone does work, or the phone is out of battery. There was a woman injured when she was hiking alone last month. Despite the fact that her original phone did not work, she brought an extra cell phone so that she could call someone to help her out of the danger fortunately. According to her experience, an extra phone is necessary which can allow you to connect with someone like your family and friends and tell them where you are.

    Besides, I suggest that students who want to hike alone can join our hiking safety course and first-aid training before they go hiking. Students can learn a wide variety of skills such as basic treatment of wounds and how to hike safely. With that knowledge, hikers can take care of themselves and do some basic treatments on their wounds when hiking accidents are happened. That vital knowledge can probably save your life.

    Finally, I would recommend that student better not go hiking alone. Students who are lacking experiences of hiking should find someone to accompany with so as to prevent the tragedy from happening. The someone with professional skills of hiking is important to secure your personal safety.

    In conclusion, I hope that my above-mentioned advice would be useful to guarantee your safety when hiking alone.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
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      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #2

    Re: could anyone help me to check my writing ? 5

    Hiking tips

    Recently, there are[1] more and more people have been injured during while hiking alone in remote areas [2]. In order to keep students safe when they are hiking alone, [3] I would like to provide some viable important advice to you on some basic safety measures which you need to be familiar withduring hiking and what you would prepare in case of emergency.

    To begin with, you must take plenty of water with you, and you should drink water frequently during when you go on a hike hiking and bring enough water before hiking. As we know, [3] hiking is a physically demanding exercise and hikers' bodies thus need a large amounts of water for the heat radiation to replace the fluids they lose through sweating when they are hiking. If we lose too much water and lack compensation of enough water do not compensate for it through drinking, we will be dehydrated and may [4] even losing lose consciousness. As a result Thus, hikers should drink more and prepare enough water for the hiking to keep your bodies safe take lots of water and drink it often to remain hydrated.

    In addition, you should take a rest frequently when hiking. Many people were hikers are eager to reach their destinationmountaintop so as to achieve their goal as soon as possible. Moreover, they often ignored the fact that they had not may not have enough energy to keep climbing going without a rest. That attitude is dangerous for our health and even somewhat reckless. Hiking is a time-consuming and exhausting activity so students could not act responsible hikers should not be hasty in haste. They need to hike slowly and enjoy it. It That not only allows them to recover their energy, but also reduces their dangers the chance of injury during the hikehiking.

    Apart from this, I recommend that you can bring an extra phone for when hiking. The phone It could help you to call the police when should you encounter an emergency even or if your original phone does not work, or the phone is out of battery. There was a [1] A woman was injured when she was hiking alone last month. Despite the fact that her original phone did not work, she had luckily brought taken an extra cell phone so that she could call someone to help her out of the danger fortunately which she used to call for help. According to her experience, an extra phone is necessary which can allow you to connect with someone like in case you need to call your family and friends and tell them where you are.

    Besides, I suggest that students who want to hike alone, can join attend our hiking safety course and first-aid training courses before they go hiking. Students can learn a wide variety of skills such as basic treatment of wounds and how to hike safely. With that knowledge, hikers can take care of themselves and do some basic treatments on their wounds when in case of hiking accidents are happened. That vital knowledge can probably save your life.

    Finally, I would recommend that students better not go avoid hiking alone whenever possible. Students who are lacking experiences of new to hiking should find someone more experienced to accompany with them so as to prevent the tragedy from happening reduce the chance of a mishap. The someone with professional skills of hiking is important to secure your personal safety.

    In conclusion, I hope that my above-mentioned advice would be useful to guarantee ensure your safety when hiking alone.

    Comments:
    1- You don't need the dummy subject "there" in these sentences.
    2- When you're talking in general, always use the plural.
    3- Don't split these sentences. This is a common mistake for you.
    4- Moderate your language!

  3. Vincen't Wong's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Afrikaans
      • Home Country:
      • Taiwan
      • Current Location:
      • Taiwan

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 45
    #3

    Re: could anyone help me to check my writing ? 5

    Thanks for offering me so much help!

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