Vincen't Wong
Junior Member
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2015
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Afrikaans
- Home Country
- Taiwan
- Current Location
- Taiwan
Teachers, how's it going!
I just finished a mock writing paper which consists 2 part( A and B) so it is quite long
I would be grateful if you could check my mistakes:roll:
The Local History Newsletter is a newsletter about the history. Every month, it prints short articles about special places. You have been asked to write an article about an old village called Lucky Village. Write your article using the three headings provided. You can use the headings in any order. Write about 200 words.
Life in the Lucky Village 40 years ago
Lucky village was a peaceful village located in Hawaii. It had more than one hundred people and 2 leaders. Also, it had democratic environment for all residents to vote and choose their own leaders. Therefore, people in the village were very happy because they had a fair opportunity to choose what they want. The leaders not only gave free education for students, but also provided residents free medical treatment and care. As a result, Lucky village was the best village in [FONT=arial, sans-serif]the USA[/FONT]
An event that changed Lucky Village
In 1980, the secondary war of worlds was happened. Japanese army invaded Lucky village and killed many residents living there. After that, the number of villagers was decreased from one hundred to ten, and the village was under controlled by Japan.
In that period, all of the village’s traditional culture and historical housing were destroyed. Apart from these, many miserable villagers lost their families. It changed a peaceful village to a hell of war.
What Lucky Village is famous for
Lucky village had a traditionally famous event called dancing with fire. On the first day of every year, all villagers wearing straw hats and skirts danced next to the fire at night. It was a way for them to express their appreciation to their god and pray the god to take care of all the villagers in the New Year. However, the traditional dance is disappeared because of the war.
Topic:
A local fitness center is being renovated. As the chairperson of your school’s Sports Club, write a letter to ask the fitness center to donate some of their old equipment to your school. In your letter, describe how the donation could benefit your school and the fitness center.
Dear Sir/Madam,
On behalf of the chairperson of ABC school’s Sport Club, I am writing to ask for help about donating your old equipment of fitness center to our school.
We recently know that your fitness center is going to be renovated, and you will dispose old sport equipment such as running machines to landfill. I would like to suggest that you donate them to our school so that students can reuse these equipment. In addition, our sport club is going to set up a gym room and buy equipment of sport. As you may know, gym room equipment are very expensive, and we could not afford them. If you give us the useful equipment, our school would save plenty of money to buy more necessary facilities for students with no doubt.
Besides, that donation could improve school student’s health. With a well-equipped gym room, students will have more chances to do exercises by using a wide variety of equipment. For example, students could learn how to train their body in PE lesson in the gym room. They thus may explore their interest from these equipment and fall in love with doing healthy exercises. In the long term, these equipment can improve their physical health and reduce overweight diseases like high blood pressure and high cholesterol level.
The donation not only benefits our school, but also your organization. I believe that your center will gain an excellent reputation if you help our school. I would like to inform you that we would publish a thank you letter on newspapers if you donate old equipment for us. I am sure that more people will thus know your kindly help for us form the newspapers and be attracted to join member of your fitness center. In the long term, the profit of your center will be increased because the positive image of your company.
In addition, many students in our school will know the brand name of your center if you are willing to help students. All of them may also appreciate your help and promote your center to their friends in the future. Therefore, your center may attract many teenagers to join member of your center as well. That will be a good phenomenon for the development of your company.
In conclusion, it is believed that the donation is mutually beneficial to our school and fitness center. Your help will not only enhance reputation and attract teenagers, but also improve student’s health and help them to explore interest. I hope that we could receive good news form your reply. If you have any question, please feel free to contact with us.
Yours sincerely,
Chris Wong
The chairperson of ABC school’s Sports Club
I just finished a mock writing paper which consists 2 part( A and B) so it is quite long
I would be grateful if you could check my mistakes:roll:
The Local History Newsletter is a newsletter about the history. Every month, it prints short articles about special places. You have been asked to write an article about an old village called Lucky Village. Write your article using the three headings provided. You can use the headings in any order. Write about 200 words.
Life in the Lucky Village 40 years ago
Lucky village was a peaceful village located in Hawaii. It had more than one hundred people and 2 leaders. Also, it had democratic environment for all residents to vote and choose their own leaders. Therefore, people in the village were very happy because they had a fair opportunity to choose what they want. The leaders not only gave free education for students, but also provided residents free medical treatment and care. As a result, Lucky village was the best village in [FONT=arial, sans-serif]the USA[/FONT]
An event that changed Lucky Village
In 1980, the secondary war of worlds was happened. Japanese army invaded Lucky village and killed many residents living there. After that, the number of villagers was decreased from one hundred to ten, and the village was under controlled by Japan.
In that period, all of the village’s traditional culture and historical housing were destroyed. Apart from these, many miserable villagers lost their families. It changed a peaceful village to a hell of war.
What Lucky Village is famous for
Lucky village had a traditionally famous event called dancing with fire. On the first day of every year, all villagers wearing straw hats and skirts danced next to the fire at night. It was a way for them to express their appreciation to their god and pray the god to take care of all the villagers in the New Year. However, the traditional dance is disappeared because of the war.
Topic:
A local fitness center is being renovated. As the chairperson of your school’s Sports Club, write a letter to ask the fitness center to donate some of their old equipment to your school. In your letter, describe how the donation could benefit your school and the fitness center.
Dear Sir/Madam,
On behalf of the chairperson of ABC school’s Sport Club, I am writing to ask for help about donating your old equipment of fitness center to our school.
We recently know that your fitness center is going to be renovated, and you will dispose old sport equipment such as running machines to landfill. I would like to suggest that you donate them to our school so that students can reuse these equipment. In addition, our sport club is going to set up a gym room and buy equipment of sport. As you may know, gym room equipment are very expensive, and we could not afford them. If you give us the useful equipment, our school would save plenty of money to buy more necessary facilities for students with no doubt.
Besides, that donation could improve school student’s health. With a well-equipped gym room, students will have more chances to do exercises by using a wide variety of equipment. For example, students could learn how to train their body in PE lesson in the gym room. They thus may explore their interest from these equipment and fall in love with doing healthy exercises. In the long term, these equipment can improve their physical health and reduce overweight diseases like high blood pressure and high cholesterol level.
The donation not only benefits our school, but also your organization. I believe that your center will gain an excellent reputation if you help our school. I would like to inform you that we would publish a thank you letter on newspapers if you donate old equipment for us. I am sure that more people will thus know your kindly help for us form the newspapers and be attracted to join member of your fitness center. In the long term, the profit of your center will be increased because the positive image of your company.
In addition, many students in our school will know the brand name of your center if you are willing to help students. All of them may also appreciate your help and promote your center to their friends in the future. Therefore, your center may attract many teenagers to join member of your center as well. That will be a good phenomenon for the development of your company.
In conclusion, it is believed that the donation is mutually beneficial to our school and fitness center. Your help will not only enhance reputation and attract teenagers, but also improve student’s health and help them to explore interest. I hope that we could receive good news form your reply. If you have any question, please feel free to contact with us.
Yours sincerely,
Chris Wong
The chairperson of ABC school’s Sports Club