Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Mar 2015
    • Posts: 1
    • Post Thanks / Like


    Hello Sir/Madam/ could you please read my english its about a book called Princess and its about chapter 20. Thanks

    On the occasion of my dinner-party, our villa in Jeddah was filled with gaiety. It consisted of our small group of men and women who formed our exclusive circle of friends.. I was in the kitchen when we heard horrifying news that two of our neighbours were locked in a deadly struggle across the border in the tiny country of Kuwait. The party was in progress until our beloved son, Abdullah shouted the news from the stairwell. Silence escaped throughout the villa like a vacuum, creating an overwhelming sense of emptiness.

    Few royals who were involved in the conference between Kuwait and Iraq, had really believed that Saddam Hussein would invade Kuwait. However, being present at the conference that finally ended stalemate of a dreadful period of time, I was assured me that the possibility of war had been averted.
    Tension and fear increased when Abdullah cried that Iraqi troops were advancing on the city of Kuwait, the seriousness of this horrific attack was evident. War had begun. I stared at Sultanas face across the room. Underneath her calm facade, she was was fearful. Her feelings had drowned in a sea of grief. As a mother, thoughts of her engrossed mind were occupied by not only our children, but all the innocent children that would be affected by the guaranteed plight of war. . I knew she would overcome her fears as our eyes joined across the crowded room as I departed.

    Along with other male Al Sauds at the dinner party, we hastily arrived at the Kings’ villa for a family conference. During the serious conference, numerous conflicts arose and were progressively solved. Momentous decisions of diplomacy were intruded throughout the conference. Issues of the war led into mid-night as news was sparse, but appeared to be going from bad to worse for the unfortunate Kuwaitis. As soon as the Al Saud's were about to depart, horrific news captivated our thoughts. Our country was being invaded by thousands of refugees.

    The following day, I entered my car after another hectic day at work. As I was began to reverse out of my private car park, I received a telephone call. It was Sultana. She nervously explained, “Since this morning, I have received many phone calls from anxious family members that want to talk to you.”
    “Why, what's the matter Sultana?” As I questioned her issue.
    “Riyadh is crowded with thousands of panicked people, and everyone's worried! Family members are ” As I ended the call with Sultana telling her I would further discuss this at home, madness had erupted on the road.
    It hadn’t been long till the message spread that Saudis felt Riyadh as an unsafe capital. Chaos had exploded in our quiet kingdom.

    After escaping the ridiculous traffic, I was confronted by my wife at home. Sultana and her sister Sara were thrilled to hear that Kuwaiti women,unveiled were driving on the forbidden roads of the capital. Moments later, jealousy rushed throughout their bodies. Taunting news of not only Kuwaiti women, but the arrival of American women troops in military uniforms shook Sultana’s and Sara world. Agony and envy was evicted.

    As I stood with agony in the garden, trying to find a solution to all this calamity of the war, sudden screaming fulfilled my ears. I immediately rushed to the voices which led me to Sultana’s bedroom. As I bursted through the door with concern, I happened to see Sara and Sultana rolling and screaming on the floor with glee. As I enquired the two sisters, I came to the conclusion that their ecstasy was provoked from the news that Saudi Arabian women were driving in the streets of our capital. Sultana’s beautiful face beamed with happiness. Sultana embraced me as she pleaded for permission on driving through the streets of Riyadh. According to the laws of Saudi Arabia I knew it was ethical to say no, as it is forbidden for women to drive. Her foolish question triggered an explosion inside of me. The product of an inadvertent question drove me to exit the room.
    This exactly was the type of action that we men did not women to take. As much as I wanted Sultana to be happy by allowing her to drive, it was erroneous. Preventing Sultana from driving was for her own safety.

    As with most royals, I, Kareem had led a life sheltered from the females of the household, but now my sympathetic nature led me to these dreadful conversations. The lines across my forehead deepened. We men had and have been battling the fanaticals for every concession. This horrific war has let to endless catastrophes. I gradually sank into my dark, secure chair as my thoughts took control over my mind.

    Last edited by emsr2d2; 17-Mar-2015 at 16:38. Reason: Enlarged font to make it readable.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Hong Kong
      • Current Location:
      • Indonesia

    • Join Date: Mar 2015
    • Posts: 155
    • Post Thanks / Like

    Re: English

    Did you write this and you want us to check it or do you mean something else?

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 33,556
    • Post Thanks / Like

    Re: English

    Quote Originally Posted by bave_xx View Post
    Hello Sir/Madam/ Could you please read my English piece. It's about a book called Princess and it's about chapter 20. Thanks.
    The standard of the English in the quoted piece is much more advanced than the English in the opening sentence. Who wrote this piece? Who wrote the book "Princess"? Is this actually Chapter 20 or is this an essay "about" Chapter 20?

    Edit: Well, I appear to have answered my own first question. The book seems to be Princess by Jean Sasson.

    This line is taken from an official excerpt of the book online: "On the occasion of my wedding, the preparation room was filled with gaiety".

    This is almost identical to the opening line of the OP's piece, just with "wedding" changed to "dinner party". I don't really want to go through the rest of it. Bave_XX, have you practically copied an entire chapter of someone else's book?
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 17-Mar-2015 at 16:51.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 18
    Last Post: 22-Feb-2014, 14:41
  2. [Tdol's Blog] English Teacher X Guide To Teaching English Abroad
    By Tdol in forum Content
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 17-Oct-2012, 16:20
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-Aug-2012, 03:38
  4. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 27-Jan-2009, 13:17


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts