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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • Switzerland
      • Current Location:
      • Switzerland

    • Join Date: Mar 2015
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Would you please proofread my Personal Statement?

    Hi,

    I'm currently studying translation at the University of Geneva (Switzerland) and I have been granted a place for a semester at King's College London by my home university through the Erasmus programme. I have now to complete my application by writing a Personal Statement, and I would really appreciate it if you could proofread it as I'm not at all proficient in English (my native language is French).
    I had to follow very specific guidelines that I found on the KCL website to write my PS, so I also copied them here:


    You should respond to the following four questions/statements with no more than 200 words for each response:
    1. King's is very much focused on the importance of an international student experience. Please consider internationalisation from your own perspective and detail how having an international experience at King's will contribute towards your becoming a ‘global citizen’.
    2. Studying in another country and adapting to a new education system can be very challenging. Please tell us a little about the strategies you will use to integrate yourself into life at King's and in London.
    3. Please list some examples of King's modules that appeal to you and include:
    a) How these modules correspond with your current programme of study
    b) How these modules will contribute towards your long-term career aspirations
    4. What aspects of King's life do you hope to get involved in outside of your academic commitments?


    And here is my PS:


    Since childhood, I have been very passionate about travelling, discovering new cultures, and learning languages. My first long-term international experience was in the Dominican Republic, where I stayed seven months to learn Spanish. It taught me to withhold judgment and not to interpret behaviour from my own cultural perspective, which is, in my view, what global citizenship is about. Pure theoretical knowledge can be acquired by staying at home, but you need to get out and immerse yourself in an unfamiliar environment, and maybe even experience cultural shock, to be able to reach cross-cultural understanding by transcending the boundaries of your own worldview.
    King’s College, with its world-renowned reputation and its demanding courses, would then be the perfect place to develop my critical thinking and to broaden my mind by confronting my opinions with those of students coming from a great variety of cultural backgrounds, as 140 countries are represented in the student community, to study subjects I am already acquainted with from an Anglo-Saxon perspective, and to improve my English skills. Studying at King’s College would thus not only lead me to get a better vision of the British culture, but also a greater understanding of the world.

    Living in a foreign country may prove destabilizing, but I believe that one of the best ways to integrate in the Londonian lifestyle will be to take part in some of the numerous activities that King’s College has to offer, such as sports and associations, and also to attend events, such as festivals and exhibitions, that take place in London. This will enable me to meet people who have similar interests to mine with whom I’ll be able to spend time and share my passions.
    At the same time, I think that preparation is essential to adjust to life in a foreign country. In order to gather useful information about life in the United Kingdom and to get acquainted with its cultural specificities and the social conduct of its inhabitants, I intend to get in touch with some students at the University of Geneva that have already spent a semester or a year at King’s College, and to contact people living in London through sites such as Couchsurfing.com, so that they can give me advice on the Londonian lifestyle and help me prepare my stay in London.

    During my semester at King’s College, I am particularly interested in taking modules in French literature, history and politics, as the acquisition of an extensive general knowledge is relevant with regard to my translation studies. Some courses from the Department of French, such as French political thought and The French novel after 1700, would give me the chance to study French history and literature from an Anglo-Saxon perspective and thus lead me to get a broader understanding of the contemporary French civilization, which would represent a significant asset to work as a translator in an international organization. Furthermore, an in-depth study of French literature would provide me with the tools needed to enhance my writing skills and to master all the subtleties of my active language.
    The modules Issues in International Politics, Modern Political Thought, and History of the world also very much appeal to me, as working in an international organization requires a deep familiarity with the world historic, economic and political situation. I would really benefit from these modules as they would allow me to get an accurate vision of the international contemporary issues, all the more since translation studies in Geneva are focused on technical translation skills, and not on the acquisition of a general knowledge.

    I am convinced that to make the most of my semester at King’s College, meeting new people to exchange ideas and involving actively in King’s College life is indispensable. In this respect, I plan to join the King’s College Erasmus society which will be the occasion of getting to know people from all over the world with whom I’ll be able to share about my student experience at King’s College.
    The Language Exchange Society would also give me the chance to enhance my language skills, and to attend a number of events and talks about interpretation and translation, and thus get useful information for my future career.
    Furthermore, as I am very much concerned by human rights and particularly women’s rights, I would be interested in getting involved in the Amnesty International King’s College section or in the Intersectional Feminist Society, which would give me the opportunity to offer my own campaigning experience to King’s College.
    Lastly, as fitness is one of my principal hobbies, I intend to get a membership at King’s College Fitness Centre so that I can meet people with whom I could train on a regular basis.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,042
    #2

    Re: Would you please proofread my Personal Statement?

    I don't know why you would say you are not proficient in English when the evidence shows that you are pretty good at it.


    I looked up "personal statement" on the Internet, and my impression is that unless it is in a heading it is not capitalized.

    Tips on personal statements:
    http://university.which.co.uk/advice...onal-statement
    http://university.which.co.uk/advice...onal-statement

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,042
    #3

    Re: Would you please proofread my Personal Statement?

    I haven't read the whole thing, but...

    Quote Originally Posted by Ewaliah View Post
    Lastly, as fitness is one of my principal hobbies, I intend to get a membership at King’s College Fitness Centre so that I can meet people with whom I could train on a regular basis.
    I assume you want to meet people you can work out with (unless you are a fitness instructor).

    It seems that sometimes you made your paragraph breaks, and sometimes you didn't.

    Some of that personal information seems pointless to mention, but I guess it won't hurt to mention that you like to work out.

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