I would like to ask for your feedback on my letter. It's an English motivation letter, which I have to send to the university of my choice. I'm not a native speaker, therefore I need help of someone who can check my grammar and style.
Thank you very much in advance!
Here is my letter:
Please indicate why you want to study at (...).
- What is your motivation to choose for (...)? Please use maximum 250 words.
There are a number of reasons why I chose for (...). The main reason is that I am of Vietnamese descent. My parents, who were both born and raised in Vietnam, raised me according to Vietnamese norms and values, while outside home I had to adapt to the Dutch culture. Therefore, I grew up speaking two languages and interacting with people coming from different cultural backgrounds. Consequently, I have always been most interested in the international and cultural aspects of life and from a young age. My dream has been to have a career in an international setting.
During my current Bachelor’s programme, (...), I have become more interested in international business rather than only languages. Unfortunately, I find that my current studies are not challenging enough, and the depth of the business and economic courses are minimal in my opinion.
Through talking to students of (...) University, I became very interested in the specific Bachelor track of (...) especially in the new specialisation (...). This specialisation possibility ultimately convinced me that this programme will offer me the perfect bridge between my cultural heritage and my future career in business. I believe that I will be able to continue to focus on the Asian market while developing more in-depth business skills with respect to more fields at the University than I am currently offered at (...).
- What makes (...) a better match for you than other universities? Please use maximum 250 words.
The reason why I think (...) is a better match for me is that I want to study in an international environment and (...) has created, in my opinion, the best international learning environment for students. (...) attracts a lot of international students with different cultural backgrounds. Hence, choosing this University will give me the chance to learn from and be stimulated by these students.
Furthermore, the (...) Bachelor’s programme very much appeals to me. In October last year I attended a lecture at the University about (...), in which the lecturer talked about (...). What really excited me during this lecture was its content and fast-paced tempo, which challenged me in a way that my current Bachelor’s does not. In fact, I got even more curious about the rest of the courses at the University.
Moreover, I chose to study in (...) because of its international character, the city atmosphere and the easy access to (...).
Again, I want to emphasise my heritage. I grew up in two cultures and that has taught me how to adapt to different environments and cultures. This is a very important quality to me and I think that this quality is also very valuable to (...). To conclude, I believe (...) University is a good match for me because I feel that the environment in the university suits my personality better than other universities.
- What competencies do you expect to develop during your study at our (...)? Please use maximum 250 words.
I expect to develop at least some of these competencies:
Organizational competency. I think this competency is very important if you want to make a career as an entrepreneur or employee in an international company. I think this is a competency that can influence one’s whole career and success. I will need this competency, for example, when I want to start a business of my own.
Management competency. I also expect to develop management competencies during the studies. I believe that it is very important to know how to manage employees and relations in your own business. Developing this competency and improving this will help my career and success later on.
I also expect to develop my understanding of finance during the studies. I think this is also essential when you want to understand the environment that influences the business you work in, such as the markets and its competitors.
Good job. I like your style of writing.
I'm not a teacher so expect more checking, revision, and feedback.
Student or Learner