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    #1

    Hi everybody. Discursive essay about mobiles, I appreciate if you read and correct

    Do the disadvantages of the mobile phones outweigh its advantages.?

    Nowadays, mobile phones are playing an essential role in our daily life. However, it still has several remarkable downsides. I strongly believe that the benefits of the mobile phones far outweigh its drawbacks

    To begin with some negative aspects of the usage of mobile phones, firstly there are more and more young people who depend much on these technological items. Especially, teenagers have become too addicted to using these devices whenever they can. As a result, their study might be affected badly. Furtheremore, the parents whose children use mobile phones alot to talk with their friends or surf the internet could have to pay enormous bills. Finally, the accidents caused by the usage of mobile phones when driving or walkinh have recently increased significantly. For instance, in Janpan, the cases of accidents, resulting from using these devices on the streets, reach approximately 4000 in 2014 which is twice as many as the figure for 2013

    On the other hand, mobile phones has alot of benefits to users. First, it makes us contact much faster and more efficently. Sending messages or making phone calls are just completed immediately during a short time no matter how far the distance is. Secondly, the mobile phones are convenient devices that can used for a variety of different purpose. People can listen to music, play games, reach online newspapper, remain their appointments and set alarm for our waking up..etc. Last but not least, these technological items are important for us to find helps in emergency situations. Incase someone gets involved alone in a car accidents, they could always contact somebody or hospitals that will assist them in death and life circumstances.

    It's undeniale that mobile phones bring out several disadvantage. Netherless, I firmly consider that these drawbacks can be controlled by changing in the attitude of using there devices

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    #2

    Re: Hi everybody. Discursive essay about mobiles, I appreciate if you read and correc

    I tend to have ielts exam in the next 2 months, i can't afford for going to English Center so I appreciate if someone check it for me both grammar and vocabulary.
    Thanks so much. God bless you

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    #3

    Re: Hi everybody. Discursive essay about mobiles, I appreciate if you read and correc

    Do the disadvantages of the mobile phones outweigh its advantages.?

    Nowadays, mobile phones are playing an essential role in our daily life. However, it there are still has several remarkable downsides to the use of mobile phones. I strongly believe that the benefits of the mobile phones far outweigh its the drawbacks

    To begin withsome the negative aspects of the usage use of mobile phones, firstly there are more and more young people who depend much a lot on these technological items. Especially, Teenagers especially, have become too addicted to and engrossed in using these devices whenever they can. As a result, their study might be are affected badly. Furtheremore, the parents whose children use mobile phones a lot to talk with their friends or surf the internet could have to pay enormous billsfor the services required for their use. Finally, the accidents caused by the usage use of mobile phones when while driving or walking have recently increased significantly. For instance, in Janpan, the number of cases of accidents(,) resulting from using these devices on the streets (,) reached approximately 4000 in 2014, which is twice as many as the figure for 2013

    On the other hand, mobile phones has have a lot of benefits to users. First, it makes us contact they enable us to communicate much faster and more efficently. Sending messages or making phone calls are just completed immediately during are possible and takes a short time no matter how far the distance is. Secondly, the mobile phones are convenient devices that can be used for a variety of different purposes. People can listen to music, play games, reach read/access online newspapers, remain manage their appointments and set their alarm for our waking up..etc. Last but not least, these technological items are important for us to find helps seek assistance in emergency situations. In case someone gets involved alone in a car accidents, they could always contact somebody or hospitals that will assist them in death and life life-and-death circumstances.

    It's undeniable that mobile phones bring out have several disadvantages. Nevertherless, I firmly consider believe that these drawbacks can be controlled overcome by changing in the attitude of the people using these devices.

    not a teacher

    P.S.
    I tend am going to have ielts IELTS exam in the next 2 months two months' time. I can't afford for going to go to English Center so I would appreciate it if someone would check it for me for both grammar and vocabulary.


    Thanks so much. God bless you
    Last edited by tedmc; 19-Apr-2015 at 10:27.

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    #4

    Re: Hi everybody. Discursive essay about mobiles, I appreciate if you read and correc

    thank TEDMC so much. I'll note these mistakes. The more mistake I did, the better I gain

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