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  1. englishhobby's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
      • Current Location:
      • Russian Federation

    • Join Date: Jun 2009
    • Posts: 1,681
    #1

    A business invitation

    I have been asked to translate a business letter into English. Is my translation correct?

    As part of our company’s program aimed at improving the production process and business development in Russia and the CIS, we kindly ask you to consider the possibility of receiving a delegation of 4 people allocated to your enterprise. The estimated time of the arrival of the delegation to your company is May 15, 2015 (in the afternoon).
    If I were a native speaker of English, I would never shut up. :-)

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,329
    #2

    Re: A business invitation

    As part of our company’s program aimed at improving the production process and business development in Russia and the CIS, we kindly ask you to consider the possibility of receiving a delegation of 4 people allocated to your enterprise. The estimated time of the arrival of the delegation to your company is May 15, 2015 (in the afternoon).
    It is a study tour that you are asking. I am surprised it is so short. You should provide the relevant details such as the purpose of the tour, what you would like to look at, who you would like to meet, etc. for the host to make preparations.

    Request to do a Study Tour of xxxxx

    As part of our company’s program aimed at improving the production process and business development in Russia and the CIS, we are planning to visit your company to do a study tour, to learn about ....... We intend to send a delegation of 4 people. Therefore, we wish to seek your kind permission for us to make the visit which we propose to be carried out on May 15, 2015 in the afternoon.

    not a teacher


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