I don't know what the person who told you meant when they said "vague and ambitious."
Your opening sentence is fine.
What is not fine is the change in mood.
Is her face "frantic" or is it "gloomy"?
Are her footsteps "quick and direct" or does she she "gradually walk"?
Why would she be "zigzagging" if she is in such a hurry?
(Dew is not "misty" and dew is not ever present -- it evaporates soon after the sun comes up.)
Student or Learner