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    #1

    Could you please check this text

    The first video you see at this link: http://www.vickeoncohen.com/eternalreturnfilm

    I am trying to write what they say down. English is not my first language, but I really would love to watch and understand this short movie. There're parts that I am not understanding, so if you could help me fill the blanks and check I understood right, I would really appreciate it. Just the five first minutes.

    In the time we breath our own breath we find each other ( ) now I saw from my own beloved. each thread each curve made from her formed indelicacy and beauty, a match to our love in this tied up world ( ) with formality. ( ) restrained even from me.
    Such warmth, such fire. Grace resonates within, by the sun alone, cool and bare skin ( ) for me. Our courage was bold and () This night ()draw aside the long closed curtain. And in my mind, a shadow lingers, unclips my heart with its () fingers. Then, I saw him. A thief in the night. In life we drain deep from the fountain of love. Now our toast is raised high, in the reddest of blood. Beloved, betroth let me bed you once more, for soon I must leave to rest, to restore, dressing the wounds ( ) to bled, sealing these gates through which life led. Though divided by destinies ( ). I will dive into darkness to set you free. Bummed as I stitch my soul to yours by my throat we will solve immutable loves, as my ( ) seeking a soldier field. A heart pumps full, but her blood stands still (by one's hand the lover's wound is healed) by a spirit ( ).

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Could you please check this text

    In the time we breathed our warm breath, we found each other. All my hours I had weaved and stitched, now I sew for my own beloved. Each thread, each curve, made from her form - indelicacy and beauty are matched to our love. In this tied-up world, fraught with formality, our hand caught, restrained, even from me.

    Such warmth, such fire - grace resonates within by the sun alone. Cool her bare skin. This night she flies the confines of custom's decree, in pursuit of her heart's desire - for me. Our courage was bold and footfall certain. This night she drew aside the long-closed curtain yet in my mind a shadow lingers and grips my heart with its icy fingers. Then, I saw him, a thief in the night.

    In life we drank deep from the fountain of love. Now our toast is raised high, in the reddest of blood.

    Beloved, betrothed, let me bathe you once more, for soon I must lay you to rest, to restore, dressing the wounds where you two bled, sealing these gates through which life led. Though divided by destiny's bitter decree, I will dive into darkness to set you free.

    Bound as I stitch my soul to yours - by my troth we will solve immutable laws/loves/lores (I can't make this out but I think it's "laws"). As my breath escapes, seeking her soul to fill. Her heart pumps full but her blood stands still. By one's hand a lover's wound is healed. By a spirit cast out, their form is sealed.


    I don't normally do these transcriptions as they're too time-consuming but I rather enjoyed that one. There was only one word I couldn't quite fathom, marked above in red.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Could you please check this text

    Go with "laws." That's what almost always comes after the adjective "immutable."
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Could you please check this text

    I thought that was the most likely collocation but I don't see why the speaker wants to "solve" laws.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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