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      • Native Language:
      • Bengali; Bangla
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      • Bangladesh
      • Current Location:
      • Singapore

    • Join Date: Jul 2013
    • Posts: 495
    #1

    A report (IELTS)

    Hi there,
    I have been practicing writing reports for an IELTS exam. As there is no one to check what I write, I presented one here just to have the errors in the sentence structures checked. I am not confident on what I have written. If you correct the mistakes such as punctuation and sentence structures, hopefully I will be able to avoid from making the same mistakes again. There, perhaps, would be inappropriate words used. Please kindly check them for me.

    Let me type the report I want to have checked.

    "The table indicates the percentage of students who attended four different secondary schools in the years of 2000, 2005 and 2009.

    As seen in the table, most of the children went to the schools that were voluntary-controlled in 2000, but it seems the popularity decreased by 2009 in which year the most crowded secondary education institutions were the community schools.

    In 2000, the proportion of attendance at specialist schools was 20%, but it gradually decreased in 2009 by 2%. Even in grammar schools, the percentage of participation dropped at 12% in 2009 which was 24% in 2000.

    Overall, a bit more than half of the percentage of school children went to schools that were voluntary-controlled in 2000. The percentage sharply declined up to 20% in 2009. Community schools, by contrast, were not so popular in 2000, only 12% of the students attended. But rising at 32% in 2005, the schools became the highest in student participation in 2009, with 58%."

  1. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    • Member Info
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      • English
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      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2009
    • Posts: 3,592
    #2

    Re: A report (IELTS)

    Quote Originally Posted by UM Chakma View Post
    Hi there,
    I have been practicing writing reports for an IELTS exam. As there is no one to check what I write, I presented one here just to have the errors in the sentence structures checked. I am not confident on what I have written. If you correct the mistakes such as punctuation and sentence structures, hopefully I will be able to avoid from making the same mistakes again. There might perhaps be inappropriate words used. Please kindly check them for me.

    Let me type the report I want to have checked.

    "The table indicates the percentage of students who attended four different secondary schools in the years of 2000, 2005 and 2009.

    As seen in the table, most of the children went to the schools that were volunteer-controlled [OR: voluntarily controlled in 2000, but it seems the popularity decreased by 2009, during which year the most crowded secondary education institutions were the community schools.

    In 2000, the proportion of attendance at specialist schools was 20%, but it gradually decreased in 2009 by 2%. Even in grammar schools, the percentage of participation dropped to 12% in 2009from 24% in 2000.

    Overall, a bit more than half of the percentage of school children went to schools that were volunteer-controlled in 2000. The percentage sharply declined down to [OR: declined to] 20% in 2009. Community schools, by contrast, were not so popular in 2000. Only 12% of the students attended. But rising to 32% in 2005, those schools had the most [OR: had the greatest] student participation in 2009, with 58%."
    You're doing well!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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