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  1. B45
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    #1

    Is this correct: Skagen's "Red Dot Award Design" time piece - economical, stylish an

    Is this correct:

    Skagen's 'red dot award design' timepiece by Hiromichi Konno - economical, stylish and classy - ideal for business travel. The chronometer tells accurate time and the calendar shows the date and day of week with precision. That's why I had to get a new one to replace the one that was stolen from me a year ago.
    Last edited by bhaisahab; 12-May-2015 at 13:50. Reason: Remove advertising link.

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    #2

    Re: Is this correct: Skagen's "Red Dot Award Design" time piece - economical, stylis

    The first part is not a complete sentence as it has no verb.It sounds like advertising. In the second part, tells the time accurately/with great accuracy would work. The word chronometer sounds a bit historical to me.The last sentence doesn't link up very well.

  2. B45
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    #3

    Re: Is this correct: Skagen's "Red Dot Award Design" time piece - economical, stylis

    Skagen's 'red dot award design' timepiece by Hiromichi Konno - is economical, stylish and classy - and ideal for business travel. The watch tells the time accurately and the calendar shows the date and day of the week with precision. That's why I had to get a new one to replace the one that was stolen from me a year ago.


    Please see my revision.


    I didn't know how to change the last sentence.
    Last edited by B45; 12-May-2015 at 19:08.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Is this correct: Skagen's "Red Dot Award Design" time piece - economical, stylis

    If the award mentioned is actually called the "Red Dot Award", it needs to be capitalised. There is no need for a dash after "Konno" and before "is", nor between "classy" and "and".

    Whilst I can see the point of mentioning that the watch tells the exact time very accurately, I don't think it's particularly impressive that it's precise about the date and the day of the week. That should be standard, not deserving of an award!
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. B45
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    #5

    Re: Is this correct: Skagen's "Red Dot Award Design" time piece - economical, stylis

    Skagen's 'Red Dot Award Design' timepiece by Hiromichi Konno is economical, stylish and classy and ideal for business travel. The quartz watch tells the time with precision, and the calendar shows the date and day of the week. That's why I had to get a new one to replace the one that was stolen from me a year ago.

    What about the last sentence that doesn't link up well?

  5. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Is this correct: Skagen's "Red Dot Award Design" time piece - economical, stylis

    I think it links up fine.

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    #7

    Re: Is this correct: Skagen's "Red Dot Award Design" time piece - economical, stylis

    It is a less target-rich environment.

  6. B45
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    #8

    Re: Is this correct: Skagen's "Red Dot Award Design" time piece - economical, stylis

    I don't understand what you mean by less target-rich environment.

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