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    #1

    From a woman's earlobes

    Would you please correct the mistakes in my sentence? I am not sure if it sounds natural.

    From a woman's earlobes dangled two large gold earrings swinging back and forth as she nodded her head.

  1. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: From a woman's earlobes

    It's fine.

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: From a woman's earlobes

    I'd prefer "that swang" to match "dangled."

    "A woman" or "The woman"?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: From a woman's earlobes

    Swang? I don't think I've ever used that. Dictionaries mark it as "dialect".

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    #5

    Re: From a woman's earlobes

    It's not used in BE.

  4. Raymott's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: From a woman's earlobes

    But, but ... it don't mean a thang if it ain't got that swang!

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    #7

    Re: From a woman's earlobes

    Does this sound better?

    Two large earrings dangling from the woman's earlobes swung back and forth as she nodded her head.

    not a teacher



  5. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: From a woman's earlobes

    Sorry meant swung. But the idea is that "swung" matches the tense better than "swinging" does.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  6. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: From a woman's earlobes

    No swangers here!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  7. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: From a woman's earlobes

    In my opinion, there are not two tenses to match. "Dangled" is a past tense verb; swinging is a present participial modifier.

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