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    #1

    Lightbulb Essay Introduction - interesting enough? Your opinion?

    Hello everybody!

    I'm writing two essays at the moment. One deals with the advantages and disadvantages of "mass tourism" and the other one deals with "multicultural societies".
    I've already written both introduction.

    Can somebody please review these? I would appreciate it!

    Sincere thanks are given to all!



    Mass Tourism:

    Nowadays, it is possible to do research on hotels or sights of a city, to easily book a flight and to pay online. That all has become possible because of the internet. Furthermore, mass tourism developed due to the improvements in technology. Air planes had become cheaper which led to more air travel.
    Mass Tourism offers new possibilities, but there are also disadvantages you have to be aware of.


    Multicultural Society:

    In our globalized world immigration is one of the most discussed issues. Immigration has always existed, but because of many fallen borders and more air travel it has never been easier to leave your country in order to live in another one. This has led to many multicultural societies in our world. You might say that this development is beneficial, but it can also cause problems.

  1. teechar's Avatar
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      • Iraq
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    • Join Date: Feb 2015
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    #2

    Re: Essay Introduction - interesting enough? Your opinion?

    Don't skirt around your topic. If your topic is "mass tourism", then you need to introduce "mass tourism" right at the beginning and let reader know.
    The same goes for your second introduction.

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