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    #1

    How's the grammar and punctuation?

    Recovering from a spiralling downfall, I found myself at a crossroad of confusions.

    The complexity of hate and vengeance destroys ones ability to think rationally.


    (How's the grammar and punctuation?)

  1. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: How's the grammar and punctuation?

    Quote Originally Posted by kuben123 View Post
    Recovering from a spiralling downfall, I found myself at a crossroad of confusions.
    This is a little overdone, especially "a crossroad of confusion." (Note: singular) Use one metaphor, but not both.
    Recovering from a spiralling downfall, I was confused.
    After my downfall, I found myself confused and at a crossroads.
    Quote Originally Posted by kuben123 View Post
    The complexity of hate and vengeance destroys ones ability to think rationally.
    one's
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #3

    Re: How's the grammar and punctuation?

    How about this..

    Recovering from a spiralling downfall, I found myself confused.
    Recovering from a spiralling downfall, I found myself beguiled.

    Which one sounds better?

  2. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: How's the grammar and punctuation?

    The first.

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    #5

    Re: How's the grammar and punctuation?

    Thanks Mike.... I need another favour (sorry to bother you)

    If it weren’t for my neediness to succeed and the uplifting words of wisdom from my circle of true friends (it was a small circle indeed!), I would not have sprung back.

    (pls check ths sentence)

  3. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: How's the grammar and punctuation?

    Sounds good.

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    #7

    Re: How's the grammar and punctuation?

    Any flaws??

    From the beginning, I was relentlessly mocked by failure.

    To make matters worse, the constant reminder and bickering from my ‘friends’ and next of kin made me buckle under pressure.

  4. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: How's the grammar and punctuation?

    I have been patient with you up to this point, but we require new questions to be posted in new threads.

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    #9

    Re: How's the grammar and punctuation?

    Additionally,

    'Thread titles should include all or part of the word/phrase being discussed.'

    (
    Extract from the Posting Guidelines.)

    I was relentlessly mocked by failure would have been a good title for this one.

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