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    #1

    have the words been used correctly

    Hi,
    I have constructed 3 sentences and I'm wondering if you can point out my grammar mistake. I do realize that I either make a lot of mistakes or end up making nonsensical sentences when they get long. By the way have I use the underlined words correctly? Thanks

    1. It has been contended that co curricular activities are both a waste of time and effort as they require commitment which culminates students juggling their priorities of which the problem has been vehemently denounced by parents and teachers alike.

    2. Activities culminating in competition which require students to be gratuitiouly absent for training have met vehement objection from parents.

    3. Good leadership encapsulates traits essential to catapult one to success.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 25-May-2015 at 09:55. Reason: Added some line breaks to make it easier to read

  1. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: have the words been used correctly

    Quote Originally Posted by iereiy View Post
    I do realize that I either make a lot of mistakes or end up making nonsensical sentences
    Then why do you continue to write sentences that are unnecessarily long and complex?
    Sentence #1 is incomprehensible to me, and #2 doesn't make much sense either.

    If you're trying to add new words to your vocabulary list, then I suggest you focus on the context of the sentence instead. I mean you should write simpler and clearer sentences using a suitable context to help you memorize the new word.

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    #3

    Re: have the words been used correctly

    Hi, thanks for the comment. I'll keep long sentences to minimum but at the same time try to perfect my skill. I have edited part of the sentences and underlined the words which I would like to replace with the one that has been stated in the bracket. Hope they make sense to you. Thanks again.

    #1. Many have contented that co-curricular activities are both a waste of time and effort. They require commitment that may result (culminate with) students struggling (juggling)with their studies and (of which the problem) has since raised concerns from parents and teachers alike.

    If it's still incomprehensible. Would you kindly show me how to use "culminate with" and "of which" in the context of co-curricular activities.

    #2 Activities culminating with competition that always sees children to be unnecessarily (gratuitously) absent from classes to join training which could otherwise be done after school hours has parents worried about the academic development of their children.

    In other way it means "parents have been worrying about the academic development of their children who have been constantly absent from classes to join the training that could otherwise be done after school hours."

    If "gratuitously" cannot bring out the extent of absent the children have been then what would be a better word for it? Thanks again.
    Last edited by iereiy; 26-May-2015 at 16:42.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: have the words been used correctly

    Things "culminate in" something else, not "with".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: have the words been used correctly

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Things "culminate in" something else, not "with".

    I believe the comment is for both #1 and #2.
    Is there anything I have to improve?
    How about the phrase "Of which the problem" in #1 and the word "gratuitously" in #2?
    Are all the 3 comprehensible to you now? Thanks

  3. Matthew Wai's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: have the words been used correctly

    I think you should say 'result in something' instead of 'result something', but I am not a teacher.

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    #7

    Re: have the words been used correctly

    There aren't many people responding to my question. Have my structures gone terribly wrong that you have given up on helping me? I'm trying way to improve my structure and was thinking maybe you can show me some pointer. Thx

  4. Matthew Wai's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: have the words been used correctly

    Quote Originally Posted by iereiy View Post
    Thx
    I consider such an abbreviation unacceptable here, but I am not a teacher.

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