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      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Vietnam
      • Current Location:
      • Vietnam

    • Join Date: May 2015
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    My second essay

    Hello everyone, I am sorry if I make a mistake. According to the rules I read, it didn't mention a person is not allowed to post 2 topics all at once. This is my essay I write myself. I am new to TOEFL. I have just watched some videos on advice. Nonetheless, my essay is still rough and dry. I would be grateful if someone helped. I have posted 2 because the topics I chose are insitinctive different in the ways of expressing opinions. The way we express in the two topics are not the same (Like: First, they like , ...." ). :)
    Thanks in advance :).


    Children should be required to help with household tasks as soon as they are able.


    The world is changing in a extremely rapid pace. The society is not the same as it was before. Parents have to work hard to make profits for their childrenís education. But many people express their opinion by saying that children should have a period of time of freedom; they should be permitted to play around all day and not required to do household chores to fully enjoy their childhood when they can in spite the fact the their parents have to use up all the strength to make a living for the families. From my point of view, children need to take small responsibility of assisting in doing much housework for 2 reasons.

    First, in this way, children will partly help their fathers and mothers save their strength or money. If they help in cleaning house, doing the laundry , parents will not have to spend money hiering helpers to do the tasks or parents will not even need to keep on working at home after their long day at work.

    Second, helping with household chores slightly helps a child turn into a much more mature person. If they help with the household chores, they may comprehend a bit that their parents have been working very and very hard to provide them with good education and life filled with happiness and love.

    To sum up, children should be asked to do housework as soon as they are afford to. Doing household chores might be small things but they help children to obtain the opportunity of becoming mature and understanding what their mothers and fathers have been doing to make a living. And so that, they will cherish their families. In addition, I think this message should be spread to many other places in order to make the world the best place to live in.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,355
    #2

    Re: My second essay

    The world is changing in a at an extremely rapid (rapid means very fast. I wouldn't use 'extremely') pace. The Society is not the same as it was before. Parents have to work hard to make profits earn enough money for their children’s education. But many people express their are of the opinion by saying that children should have a period of time of freedom; they should be permitted to play around all day and not required to do household chores to fully enjoy their childhood whenever they can in spite the fact the their parents have to use up all the strength endeavour to make eke out a living for their families. From my point of view, children need to take on the small responsibility of assisting in doing much housework chores for 2 two reasons.

    First, in this way, children will partly would help to lighten the burden of their parents their fathers and mothers save their strength or money. If they help in cleaning the house, doing the laundry , parents will not have to spend money hiering hiring helpers to do the tasks or parents they would will not even need to keep on working at home after their a long day at work.

    Second, helping with household chores slightly helps would help a child turn into a much become more mature person. If they help with the household chores, they may comprehend a bit come to appreciate that their parents have been working very and very hard to provide them with a good education and a life filled with happiness and love.

    To sum up, children should be asked to do housework as soon as they are in a position to afford to. Doing household chores might be small things but they help children to obtain provide the opportunity to children of becoming to be more mature and understanding appreciate what their mothers and fathers have been doing gone through to make a living. And so that, Thus, they will learn to cherish their families more. In addition, I think this message should be spread to many other places should be disseminated in order to make the world the best place to live in.

    not a teacher
    Last edited by tedmc; 29-May-2015 at 05:04.

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