Please let me know my answer is too generic or ok?..what shoudl i include to make it more impressive?

explain how receiving an Endeavour Scholarship or Fellowship would make a difference to your personal life.(200 words)

1. Receiving an Endeavour scholarship would help me to get access to top university in Australia. As Australia gives importance to work integrated learning, I would be able to incorporate my ICT skills and knowledge to my studies which in turn could contribute to broadening my intellectual horizon.

2. Furthermore, receiving a scholarship would be a great achievement which will not only raise my credentials in Angola, but also get an opportunity to work in International platform and become future leader where I can make a significant contribution to the society.

3. Being a woman myself and working in an ICT regulator, I want to contribute back to the society by working on closing the digital gap. This scholarship will enrich me with a knowledge that will enable me to work towards empowering women with the help of ICT. Therefore, this scholarship will help me gain confidence and motivate me to achieve my goal.

4. Finally, as networking is necessary for a professional career, it will allow me to acquire skills and increase PR connections that are lifelong assets subsequently creating an informal network of IT professionals to interact and exchange solutions and real-time knowledge in the future.