[General] Helps for grammar and the sentences structure ! :)

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yohsuan0987

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2015
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Taiwan
Current Location
Italy
Hello everybody,

I would like to ask your help for some suggestions of my cover letter. I have been working on it for few days and now I am sure that I still don't have confidence on it. It would be great if any of you can indicate me to a better vision of the content or a better level of my English grammar, critics are really welcome as well.
I will learn my errors from this cover letter I have done.

I hope this cover letter won't have any grammar mistakes, and the sentences will be read smoothly in the end...what the most important thing to me is that the content won't be boring for reading...


Here is my unsolicited cover letter for an internship in a design studio.

Thank you in advance.

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Hello cccccc studio,

My name is OOXX. I’m a Taiwanese and a new graduate of ooooxxxx(school). I am writing this cover letter for an internship.

I am very interested in your design works. They give different aspects and bring out imaginations of ordinary objects. As well as the ideas create interactions between themselves and their surroundings. For example, “ooooo Lamp”, which I met it at xxx gallery, reflects a dynamic scene of its surrounding by lights. The unexpected forms of the bubble come to my attention to imagine the next coming shape. “xxxxx Light” and the recently presented work “Light Installation” give the spaces lively ambiences. Then, my favorites, “Design by Animals” and “Design by sunlight”, the idea of natural productions inspires me mostly. Everything from the nature is already a fine design, but designs interacting with the nature add values of a sustainable life style and reminds us the environment we are living in.

As a young professional, I have immersed my interests in seeking design values through doing design works and researches of new material applications, sustainable ideas, lighting, and technologies…etc. I was really glad that I had opportunities to apply my learning on designs when I did my internship in the Netherlands and my thesis projects. Moreover, the history of manufacturing and the market research are my new approaches. I believe these implementations can open the design solutions for the design field in the future.

I would be grateful if I could work in your studio to further my training and interests in learning.

My portfolio and CV are attached, or to see my works on my website: ++++++

Thank you for reading my letter and looking forward to your positive response.

Best Regards
OOXX
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
The Manager,
ABCD Studio.

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is OOXX. I am Taiwanese, and I recently graduated from XYZ School. I wish to apply for an internship with your studio.

I am very interested in your design works and novel ideas, as I feel they focus on alternative aspects, make imaginative use of ordinary objects, and create interactions with their surroundings. For example, “ooooo Lamp”, which I saw at xxx gallery, reflects the dynamic scene of its surroundings by its special use of light. The unexpected bubble forms lead one's imagination to anticipate the next shape. “xxxxx Light” and the recently presented work “Light Installation” give space a lively ambience. Then, my favorites, “Design by Animals” and “Design by Sunlight”, and the whole idea of nature-related designs, inspire me the most. Everything from nature is already a fine design, but designs interacting with nature promote a sustainable lifestyle and remind us the environment we are living in.

As a young professional, my interests are in pursuing excellent design values through practice and also researching new material applications, sustainable ideas, lighting, and new technologies. I was really glad that I had some valuable opportunities to practise making various designs during my internship in the Netherlands and in my thesis projects. Moreover, the process of manufacturing as well as market research are my new areas of interest. I believe that, in the future, a thorough understanding of these will be important for anyone working in the design field .

I would be grateful if I could work in your studio to further my training and broaden my experience.


My portfolio and CV are attached, and you can also view my works on my website: ++++++


Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your positive response.


Best Regards,


OOXX
 
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