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      • Native Language:
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      • Iran
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    • Join Date: Jun 2015
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    #1

    Check My Essay Toefl#2

    Hello. please check my essay.

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    To my way of thinking, I strongly believe that parents are the best teachers for their children. On the one hand, they Have lots of diverse experiences which can be taught to them. On the other hand, parents sincerely offer what they know to them and have not any expectations regarding to it. Furthermore, parents are well-familiar with the particular requirements of them.
    First of all, parents have collected a lot of diverse experiences during their lives. They are usually middle-aged persons and have passed the childhood. Facing the difficulties, challenges and problems during their lives, they are accustomed to various plights a child may suffer from in the life. Although they might not have scientific knowledge, having these indispensable experiences makes it possible for them to be the best teachers. They can teach all of their past knowledge based on experiences to their children.
    The most unique characteristic of parents is their immeasurable love and attention to their children. While teaching the most valuable points of life to them, they have no expectations. Actually, they devote all of their time, energy and attention to virtuously growing them. Usually, they have an obligation to completely teach what their children require. It is apparent that a teacher who sincerely teaches is the best teacher for him/her student.
    Last but not least, is the widely-known fact that a teacher who is accustomed to the distinct needs of him/her apprentice can teach more effectively. Usually, parents have a great level of familiarity about their children. They are aware of their deficiencies, interests and talents. For instance, being accustomed to their talents, they can efficiently help them to be flourished and prosperous.
    In conclusion, having a lot of different experiences, having an immeasurable amount of love and attention regarding to their children and being familiar with their needs make parents the best teachers for them.

  1. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
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      • English
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      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #2

    Re: Check My Essay Toefl#2

    If you want to write a good essay, you need to know how to structure it well.

    I strongly advise you to read up on how to structure various types of essays.

    You need to know the form and function of the following:
    - Introduction {General statement, background, issue, thesis}.
    - Body paragraph {Topic sentence, supporting sentences, specific examples}.
    - Conclusion {Summary of main findings, restatement of position}.

    I also recommend that you separate your paragraphs clearly.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
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      • Malaysia
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    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,330
    #3

    Re: Check My Essay Toefl#2

    To my way of thinking, I strongly believe that parents are the best teachers for their children. On the one hand, they Have lots of diverse experiences which can be taught to them. On the other hand, parents sincerely offer what they know to them and have not any expectations regarding to it. Furthermore, parents are well-familiar with the particular requirements of them.

    You use "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" with statements which are opposite of each other. The phrases are not applicable to the pair of statements.

    You say "experiences are passed down", not "taught".

    Parents know their children's requirements well.
    I am not a teacher.

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