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  1. dkqmail's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Mar 2012
    • Posts: 83
    #1

    Please check. Is it correct?

    Hi,
    Could you please check and correct my writing?
    Does my text sound natural? If not, how can I fix it?

    ---
    A self-motivated, versatile and creative Computer Networks Engineer fuses a background in computer science and research activities with expertise in enterprise IT environment, managing people as well as projects. Possesses a wide array of skills and specialized knowledge in the design, implementation, and maintenance of high-availability and fault-tolerant network architectures, of both the wired and wireless connections. Also has hands-on experience in varied technical areas, including security, storage, backups, virtualization technology, and administration of Linux and Windows systems.
    ---

    Thank you in advance for your help.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #2

    Re: Please check. Is it correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by dkqmail View Post
    Hi,
    A self-motivated, versatile and creative computer networks engineer fuses with a background in computer science and research activities with as well as solid expertise in enterprise IT environments, managing people as well as projects. Possesses a wide array of skills and specialized knowledge in the design, implementation, and maintenance of high-availability and fault-tolerant network architectures, of using both the wired and wireless connections. Also has hands-on experience in varied technical areas, including security, storage, backups, virtualization technology, and administration of Linux and Windows systems.
    See above.


    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,295
    #3

    Re: Please check. Is it correct?

    The first part is a sentence whereas the rest are not. I guess it is part of a resume to describe the skills and experience of a candidate. I think itt would be neater to have them in a list rather than a paragraph, to make for easy reading.
    I am not a teacher.

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