Please check. Is it correct?

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dkqmail

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Mar 22, 2012
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Hi,
Could you please check and correct my writing?
Does my text sound natural? If not, how can I fix it?

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A self-motivated, versatile and creative Computer Networks Engineer fuses a background in computer science and research activities with expertise in enterprise IT environment, managing people as well as projects. Possesses a wide array of skills and specialized knowledge in the design, implementation, and maintenance of high-availability and fault-tolerant network architectures, of both the wired and wireless connections. Also has hands-on experience in varied technical areas, including security, storage, backups, virtualization technology, and administration of Linux and Windows systems.
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Thank you in advance for your help.
 

teechar

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Feb 18, 2015
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English
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Iraq
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Iraq
Hi,
A self-motivated, versatile and creative computer networks engineer [STRIKE]fuses[/STRIKE] with a background in computer science and research activities [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] as well as solid expertise in enterprise IT environments, managing people as well as projects. Possesses a wide array of skills and specialized knowledge in the design, implementation, and maintenance of high-availability and fault-tolerant network architectures, [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] using both [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] wired and wireless connections. Also has hands-on experience in varied technical areas, including security, storage, backups, virtualization technology, and administration of Linux and Windows systems.

See above.

;-)
 

tedmc

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Apr 16, 2014
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Interested in Language
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The first part is a sentence whereas the rest are not. I guess it is part of a resume to describe the skills and experience of a candidate. I think itt would be neater to have them in a list rather than a paragraph, to make for easy reading.
 
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