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    #1

    Check SAT ESSAY

    "Nature (one's genetic inheritance) affects one's character and behavior more than nurture (one's life experiences)"

    Writting:

    People are born with unique specialities. those people had known crying when they are born. we know "why is crying", "why does we know which somethings is wrong or right"," Why does we know whatever we are doing,wrong or right ... ?, No, We does not know anything when born. These character and behavior come from an genetic inheritance, environment in around us since the birth to death. I saw the environment is important than an genetic inheritance. So I can prove that.

    First, What is "genetic inheritance"? "how important is it?. It is the regeneration the biological properties from family and be handed down to children with the specifications such as IQ, capability, intellect... that's basically to formed and develop personality but there is a things specifically "they" just get 30% to 40% in effects to character and behavior of people.For example, family gets IQ higher we can learn a somethings quickly, and do whatever is easy...

    Second, Environment is a system that it contain(contribute) to a relationship between people, and those are the rules, institution..., and where to created an condition for the operation of individual and learning... That's impact to behavior development as very big.
    However, influence of the nature level was depending by stance, viewpoint, and attitudes of each individuals. As well as depending to level of individual joined in environment. For example, The kids lives in violent of environment they would get acting stranger than usual, bad behavior. For research, there are 80% to 90% those crime had been undergone difficulties from your relationship, family...

    Thirst, Education has strong impacts on the people, those lesson of education had teaching everyone "how to behave nice", knowledge for communication, and or we know a "right or wrong" for anythings.... For example, a bad man who if be take care of and teaching they will better.

    Certainly, nature has somewhat effects on the person's behavior and characters. Environment is important and effects too. though.

  1. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Check SAT ESSAY

    This is poorly written.
    For example, take the introduction:

    Quote Originally Posted by Lê Thiên Hoàng View Post

    People are born with unique specialities.
    People are born with some basic innate characteristics.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lê Thiên Hoàng View Post

    those people had known crying when they are born. we know
    For example, babies instinctively know how to cry.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lê Thiên Hoàng View Post

    "why is crying", "why does we know which somethings is wrong or right"," Why does we know whatever we are doing,wrong or right ... ?, No,
    However, do babies really know why they cry, or do they instinctively know, for example, the difference between right and wrong? Of course not!


    Quote Originally Posted by Lê Thiên Hoàng View Post

    We does not know anything when born. These character and behavior come from an genetic inheritance, environment in around us since the birth to death. I saw the environment is important than an genetic inheritance. So I can prove that.
    In fact, we know very little when we're born, and while our genes represent the basic blueprint for our make-up, it is the environment that we live in from the moment we are born right up to the time of our death that plays the greatest role in determining our behaviour.


    Your first body paragraph is considered off-topic, which would lose you valuable marks!

    Your second body paragraph would also be considered off-topic, except for the second last sentence!

    Your third body paragraph has the potential to be very useful, but it's too short and not written very well.

    I would again ask you to write shorter pieces of text, and you can slowly build up to writing essays.

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