Please check my two paragraphs of cover letter

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dkqmail

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Hi,
I am rewriting my two paragraphs. Could you please check and correct my writing?


I am an IT professional with extensive experience in the areas of network and systems administration, network infrastructure design and project management. I am particularly interested in network services study, deployment, and administration in a free and open-source software based environment. I am always looking for new ways to automate and improve existing services. Furthermore, I am able to apply academic knowledge combined with my passion for informatics to field more productively. I also have achieved consistent and remarkable results in the execution and completion of IT solutions projects.

In addition, I have a variety of leadership, communications, motivational, team building and analytical skills. I enjoy helping and inspiring diverse groups to work towards a common goal, using my ability to understand, negotiate and resolve conflicting needs. Now, I would like to bring my knowledge and expertise to your company.



Also, any suggestion or modification from you will be of great help for me.

Your help will be appreciated greatly.
 

tedmc

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I am an IT professional with extensive experience in the areas of network and systems administration, network infrastructure design and project management. I am particularly interested in network services study, deployment(,) and administration in a free and open-source software based environment. I am always looking for new ways to automate and improve existing services. Furthermore, I am able to apply my academic knowledge combined with my passion for informatics to the field more productively. I also have achieved consistent and remarkable results in the execution and completion of IT solutions projects.

In addition, I have [STRIKE]a variety of[/STRIKE] developed leadership, communications, motivational, team building and analytical skills. I enjoy helping and inspiring diverse groups to work towards a common goal, using my ability to understand, negotiate and resolve conflicting needs. Now, I would like to bring my knowledge and expertise to your company.
 

Rover_KE

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Welcome to the forum, DavidJohn.

Before posting again, please read the rules and posting guidelines — especially this one:


You are welcome to answer questions posted in the Ask a Teacher forum as long as your suggestions, help, and advice reflect a good understanding of the English language. If you are not a teacher, you will need to state that clearly in your post. Please note, all posts are moderated by our in-house language experts, so make sure your suggestions, help, and advice provide the kind of information an international language teacher would offer. If not, and your posts do not contribute to the topic in a positive way, they will be subject to deletion.

I have deleted your post for the reasons shown above.
 
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