i wrote my motivation but the words and structure is really simple.if someone check it, he/she really will help me in a difficult part of my life

I really enjoyed studying through my high school. I learnt lessons deeply and without feeling any pressure I was top of my class in all lessons.
In 2001, I took part in the Iranian national university entrance examination (the most important examination held in Iran annually which has million applicants in different fields). I was accepted in ....... University of Technology which is one of oldest and best universities in Iran. A total of 300 students were admitted into the Department of Engineering and my score at the entrance examination was the highest. I'm pleased to say in important issues in my life I've never regretted because after considering all dimensions I notice my own feeling and what I really want. One of these decisions was my major "mechanical engineering" which moreover being a relatively hard and difficult major , females in Iran face a lot of difficulties during studying and working.

Studying at university was so different from my previous studies. An exciting larger world opened. Volume of materials was huge but instead of studying and researching harder than school, most students only wanted to get good scores so they were restricting themselves to class notes and seeking exam questions. As I was really interested in my major, I studied hard and attended extra classes, labs and workshops without paying more attention to my scores. Although my GPA in undergraduate study is not comparable to my Master's program and high school's GPA that I was top student, I profoundly comprehended that basic lessons. This fact is evident in my success in different jobs which I had after completing undergraduate degree. In addition, I was accepted in Master degree 5years after completing my bachelor's degree while most of my competitors were new graduates because my lessons were still fresh in the first pages of my mind. More important than it, I became top of my class despite of my age and responsibilities at work and home.
I have work experience at HVAC systems, power plant and energy industry. I worked in four company permanently and also one year temporary in MAPNA Group which is the biggest enterprise in Iran in the area of construction and development of thermal power plants under EPC scheme. Although MAPNA is a really big company but unfortunately I saw that they did not produce any science, they did not have any innovation, they only repeated the technology which had been received from industrial and developed countries. That time I found out different parts of our power plants need to become optimized and cleaner and I couldn't be apathetic about it and continue my work like most engineers. I felt I need to make a balance between experience and theory to be able to make a positive difference in that field and also in my own life. This was my reason to do an MS but during my thesis I realized studies and research in my country especially in renewable energy my favorite field indeed was poor and actually a mere repetition of the research work of other scientists in more advanced countries which made me sad. Therefore I decided to undertake my Ph.D. studies in a developed and industrial country to perform the first-rate research and achieve new technology especially about renewable energy which my country really require it. Since Iran has plenty of fossil fuel resources, alternative fuel and renewable resources have not been taken into consideration seriously. Regarding the increasing rate of the population it's our responsibility for future generations around the world to replace fuel energy with renewables. I want to help developing renewable energy in my country by involving in industry directly and teaching in university. It's my future career objective.
It's my pleasure that Prof. Mehdi Ashjaee (Faculty of Mechanical Engineering University of Tehran, ashjaee@ut.ac.ir) was the advisor of my graduation project and thesis who got his Ph.D. from University of Wisconsin-Madison in 1985 and is a really knowledgeable researcher in Iran.
My thesis for MS degree was an .................................................. .................................................. ...............................................
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Epilogue
In the course of my life heretofore, I have come to many important cross-sections and had to make many difficult decisions and choices. Faced with new challenges each time, I have always required myself to select the most difficult, the most "thorny" route. I have done so out of the sheer belief that "no pains, no gains" and that only the hardest efforts can lead to the most exciting and most glorious achievements. At this very moment, I seem to be standing at yet another cross-section of my life. My conviction is that my determination to pursue my Ph.D. Program at your respected university is definitely one of the many correct decisions that I have made in my life. I would greatly appreciate it if you could accept me into your program and offer me whatever financial support that you might be able to offer.