iceman007
New member
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2015
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- English
- Home Country
- United States
- Current Location
- United States
She is an Artist, and wants a brief passage for her art page. She sent me this, which I liked a lot! I got her permission to post her passage here, because I told her I would let others look at it, maybe they could help make it flow better, and correct any grammar, without changing the overall message or idea of it.
I attempted to make corrections, but I still don't think it flows well, and there might be grammar mistakes that I overlooked.
HER ORIGINAL PASSAGE:
One day, a friend asked if I can envisage a world without colours... any colour. A difficult task, bordering foolishness. But I like to do foolish things. So I picked up all colours and splashed them on a canvas and made humble effort to make the world colourful.
MY ATTEMPT:
One day, a friend asked if I could envisage a world without color... any color. A difficult task, bordering on foolishness. But I like to do foolish things. So I picked up all colors, splashed them on a canvas, and made a humble effort to make the world colorful.
I attempted to make corrections, but I still don't think it flows well, and there might be grammar mistakes that I overlooked.
HER ORIGINAL PASSAGE:
One day, a friend asked if I can envisage a world without colours... any colour. A difficult task, bordering foolishness. But I like to do foolish things. So I picked up all colours and splashed them on a canvas and made humble effort to make the world colourful.
MY ATTEMPT:
One day, a friend asked if I could envisage a world without color... any color. A difficult task, bordering on foolishness. But I like to do foolish things. So I picked up all colors, splashed them on a canvas, and made a humble effort to make the world colorful.
