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    #1

    Grammar Construction 2015

    Good Day Sir/Madam!

    Kindly Help Me on my grammar construction below.

    I need your opinion if this is already OK coz I gonna publish it in our article.

    Customer Exit Survey tracks when customer leave the program. Of all the months that shows the incidence of exit, February is the high month and December is the low month of exiting customer.

    Many Thanks
    ~R

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Grammar Construction 2015

    Quote Originally Posted by ranthrave View Post
    Good Day Sir/Madam! Unnecessary and overly formal.

    Kindly help me on with my grammar construction below.

    I need your opinion if on whether this is already OK coz because I am gonna going to publish it in our article.

    "The Customer Exit Survey tracks when customers leave the program. Of all the months that shows show the incidence of exit, February is the highest month and December is the lowest month of exiting customers."

    Many thanks.

    ~R
    See above. I have made corrections in red. I find your main sentence overly wordy. I would probably say something like:

    "February shows the highest incidence of customers leaving/exiting, and December the lowest."
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Grammar Construction 2015

    Thanks emsr2d2

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    #4

    Re: Grammar Construction 2015

    The Customer Exit Survey tracks when customers leave the program.

    I thought "track" is a transitive word which requires an object.

    I would write the sentence like this:
    The Customer Exit Survey tracks customers leaving the program.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #5

    Re: Grammar Construction 2015

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    I thought "track" is a transitive word which requires an object.
    It is. The object is the noun phrase 'when customers leave the program'.

    when

    n. the time of something:
    the where and when of the accident.
    (Collins)



    Quote Originally Posted by ranthrave View Post
    Thanks emsr2d2
    There is no need to write a new post just to say "Thank you". It makes us think there is new information or a follow-up question and we spend time opening the thread. Simply click on the "Thank" button at the bottom left-hand corner of any post you find helpful. It saves everybody's time.

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    #6

    Re: Grammar Construction 2015

    The tracking is done to get the number (incidence) of exits rather than the time of exits, so it is not very accurate to say that the survey tracks when customers leave the program, is it?
    Last edited by tedmc; 07-Jul-2015 at 09:46.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #7

    Re: Grammar Construction 2015

    Given the results are given by numbers per month, I think it is tracking when people leave. The survey is designed to track which months see the highest and lowest incidences of exit.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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