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    #1

    Phrasing of this sentence

    Hello, I was wondering if the sentence structure or phrasing of this sentence feels slightly "off":

    "I've got her taking care of my children, always making sure they eat properly, and then she leaves to her other part-time job."

    Please leave any feedback. I'm curious to know your thoughts.
    Last edited by infinity42; 20-Jul-2015 at 22:13.

  1. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Phrasing of this sentence

    I would change "to" at the end to "for".

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    #3

    Re: Phrasing of this sentence

    Shouldn't the present tense/infinitive be better for the first two parts since the last part is in the present tense?

    I've got her to take care of my children, always make sure they eat properly, before she leaves for her other part-time job.
    I am not a teacher.

  2. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Phrasing of this sentence

    No. I don't see any improvement there.

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    #5

    Re: Phrasing of this sentence

    How about:

    I've got her taking care of my children, always making sure they've eaten properly before she leaves for her other part-time job.

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    #6

    Re: Phrasing of this sentence

    Thank you for all your feedback. Much appreciated!

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    #7

    Re: Phrasing of this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    I've got her to take care of my children, always make sure they eat properly...
    I would add 'and' before 'always', but I am not a teacher.

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    #8

    Re: Phrasing of this sentence

    infinity, please note that a better title would have been I've got her taking care of my children...

    Extract from the Posting Guidelines:

    'Thread titles should include all or part of the word/phrase being discussed.'

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    #9

    Re: Phrasing of this sentence

    I apologize. I'll be more careful next time.
    Last edited by Rover_KE; 08-Jul-2015 at 13:57. Reason: Deleting unnecessary quote.

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    #10

    Re: Phrasing of this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew Wai View Post
    I would add 'and' before 'always', but I am not a teacher.
    "And" is not required because the second part is not a different item, merely an elaboration of the same point.
    I am not a teacher.

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