Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • Tunisia

    • Join Date: Jul 2015
    • Posts: 4
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    Exclamation Can someone help me proofread this letter ?

    Hello,
    First I would like to thank the administrators for this forum and for the help continuously provided.
    My close friend is willing to pursue her studies in UK, she asked me to help her and check the mistakes I did what I could but I don't know if there is some remaining.
    this is a letter for the admission tutor if someone could help me please ? Thank you very much.

    here is the letter :

    __________________________________________________ ___________________________________________


    To the Admission Tutor,


    Dear Mr M** B**,


    I heard that it is possible to ask the university for a feedback : My name is N.H and my Ucas personnal ID is *****. I applied for Mathematical Economics and Statistics. I wanted to know if possible the reason of my unsuccessful application. Is it because I didn't meet the entry requirements ? Or is it because I applied too late ?





    I know that my score is slightly below the entry requirements: I have a french baccalaureate and my score is 13,83/20 and the minimum required by the university is 14/20. But, still, I did score an A* grade in the required subjects : maths (18/20). I scored A in other subjects ( such as philosophy, geography). I left a copy of my GCSE and my baccalaureate diploma at the admission office few months ago. I read on the university's website that for some areas you may consider applicants who have achieved slightly lower grades than the standard entry requirements.


    Honestly, the reason of why I couldn't achieve good results in mathematics in my bachelor degree is because as a distance learning student we recieve the courses in first December( I have proof) and we take our exams on the first weeks of February. We have two months to complete up to seven modules. It is very difficult to achieve good grades in all subjects in this very short time considering the fact that we are learning all by ourselves. Distance learning in France is less develloped than in the UK, we don't have much support from the professors and we are only given is one book per module. Most of the time professors answer our questions late so we have to rely on ourselves to understand. This requires a lot of determination and patience. It was common for me to spend about four hours or more without stopping to understand a single question on an exercice, I would not give up until I found the answer by all means as necessary. For all the modules, each difficulty that I overcame gave me a high selfsatisfaction but it took a lot of time. Likewise, Mathematics needs a lot of practice and practice needs time. From my experience maths is not a subject you can understand by yourself with just a book but with the explanations of a professor you can really see. That's why I couldn't achieve good results. Except for my poor grades in mathematics I achieved correct results in my bachelor those similar modules my degree have in common with the the university's : " Applied economics and IT skills" , " Principle of economics" ," macroeconomics"," statistics for economists" and " financial and buisness system" .


    My passion toward economics is guenine, I am really fascinated by how economists have the skills to understand and analyse to world we live in. I am yearning one day, to formulate and contribute my own theories to the subject, but my firm goal is to work from the gouvernment in policy making. I set it the day I looked at the economics students profile of the university of Kent and saw a former student in mathematical economics and statistics doing an internship with the Gouvernment Economics Service. I was curious about it so I searched the website and looked through all the sections. My mind was determined ,that was exactely the career I was looking for. As far as I remember I have always wanted to learn and apply what I learned in real world situations: that's why I liked statistics and probabilities the best in mathematics and that's why I liked economics. If I can work for the Gouvernment Economics service, it will permit me to apply economical theory in real world situations.


    I think joining Economics and Statistics in a Bachelor is really the perfect combination to gain a critical analysis as mathematical tools are necessary to fully understand economics. I looked countless time through the three years modules and each time, I found every subject exciting and wisely choosen. I couldn't find any other university offering a bachelor as interesting as the University of Kent's . Besides, It is the only place where I can meet excellent academic support , be taught by leading economists and benefit from excellent carreers network to help me achieve my goal. To be able to pursue my ambition to be an economist, I need to gain enough knowledge and skills. I believe this degree is the best way I can achieve those and the University of Kent will provide the ideal environment in which to strengthen and test my understanding economics.


    Because my degree was similar in some aspects to the Mathematical Economics and statistics, I strongly believe that if I start from year one at the university with the all the economics basis I have now, make use of all my previous experience as a distance learning student and if I am taught by professors with whom I can interract with, I have no doubts I will be able to achieve excellent results as I am very perseverent and hard working.


    Also I have now the results of my final year which I was waiting for. Is it possible to take my distance learning circumstances into consideration and review the decision ? Is it possible to have an offer through cleaning ? If not, is it still possible to know the reason of my rejection ?


    With my score and qualification, if I take a fundation year in "Quantitative Methods for Buisness and Economics" will I be able next year, in october 2016 to be accepted to the Mathematical Economics and Statistics course ?


    Thank you very much,










    Kind regards,


    NH.

  2. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • Tunisia

    • Join Date: Jul 2015
    • Posts: 4
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Can someone help me proofread this letter ?

    Quote Originally Posted by aniska View Post
    Hello,
    First I would like to thank the administrators for this forum and for the help continuously provided.
    My close friend is willing to pursue her studies in UK, she asked me to help her and check the mistakes I did what I could but I don't know if there is some remaining.
    this is a letter for the admission tutor if someone could help me please ? Thank you very much.

    here is the letter :

    __________________________________________________ ___________________________________________


    To the Admission Tutor,


    Dear Mr M** B**,


    I heard that it is possible to ask the university for a feedback : My name is N.H and my Ucas personnal ID is *****. I applied for Mathematical Economics and Statistics. I wanted to know if possible the reason of my unsuccessful application. Is it because I didn't meet the entry requirements ? Or is it because I applied too late ?





    I know that my score is slightly below the entry requirements: I have a french baccalaureate and my score is 13,83/20 and the minimum required by the university is 14/20. But, still, I did score an A* grade in the required subjects : maths (18/20). I scored A in other subjects ( such as philosophy, geography). I left a copy of my GCSE and my baccalaureate diploma at the admission office few months ago. I read on the university's website that for some areas you may consider applicants who have achieved slightly lower grades than the standard entry requirements.


    Honestly, the reason of why I couldn't achieve good results in mathematics in my bachelor degree is because as a distance learning student we recieve the courses in first December( I have proof) and we take our exams on the first weeks of February. We have two months to complete up to seven modules. It is very difficult to achieve good grades in all subjects in this very short time considering the fact that we are learning all by ourselves. Distance learning in France is less develloped than in the UK, we don't have much support from the professors and we are only given is one book per module. Most of the time professors answer our questions late so we have to rely on ourselves to understand. This requires a lot of determination and patience. It was common for me to spend about four hours or more without stopping to understand a single question on an exercice, I would not give up until I found the answer by all means as necessary. For all the modules, each difficulty that I overcame gave me a high selfsatisfaction but it took a lot of time. Likewise, Mathematics needs a lot of practice and practice needs time. From my experience maths is not a subject you can understand by yourself with just a book but with the explanations of a professor you can really see. That's why I couldn't achieve good results. Except for my poor grades in mathematics I achieved correct results in my bachelor those similar modules my degree have in common with the the university's : " Applied economics and IT skills" , " Principle of economics" ," macroeconomics"," statistics for economists" and " financial and buisness system" .


    My passion toward economics is guenine, I am really fascinated by how economists have the skills to understand and analyse to world we live in. I am yearning one day, to formulate and contribute my own theories to the subject, but my firm goal is to work from the gouvernment in policy making. I set it the day I looked at the economics students profile of the university of Kent and saw a former student in mathematical economics and statistics doing an internship with the Gouvernment Economics Service. I was curious about it so I searched the website and looked through all the sections. My mind was determined ,that was exactely the career I was looking for. As far as I remember I have always wanted to learn and apply what I learned in real world situations: that's why I liked statistics and probabilities the best in mathematics and that's why I liked economics. If I can work for the Gouvernment Economics service, it will permit me to apply economical theory in real world situations.


    I think joining Economics and Statistics in a Bachelor is really the perfect combination to gain a critical analysis as mathematical tools are necessary to fully understand economics. I looked countless time through the three years modules and each time, I found every subject exciting and wisely choosen. I couldn't find any other university offering a bachelor as interesting as the University of Kent's . Besides, It is the only place where I can meet excellent academic support , be taught by leading economists and benefit from excellent carreers network to help me achieve my goal. To be able to pursue my ambition to be an economist, I need to gain enough knowledge and skills. I believe this degree is the best way I can achieve those and the University of Kent will provide the ideal environment in which to strengthen and test my understanding economics.


    Because my degree was similar in some aspects to the Mathematical Economics and statistics, I strongly believe that if I start from year one at the university with the all the economics basis I have now, make use of all my previous experience as a distance learning student and if I am taught by professors with whom I can interract with, I have no doubts I will be able to achieve excellent results as I am very perseverent and hard working.


    Also I have now the results of my final year which I was waiting for. Is it possible to take my distance learning circumstances into consideration and review the decision ? Is it possible to have an offer through cleaning ? If not, is it still possible to know the reason of my rejection ?


    With my score and qualification, if I take a fundation year in "Quantitative Methods for Buisness and Economics" will I be able next year, in october 2016 to be accepted to the Mathematical Economics and Statistics course ?


    Thank you very much,










    Kind regards,


    NH.
    I was thinking isn't "yours sincerely" better than "kind regards" ?
    I think the parts that I underlined are incorrect
    I am particularly weak in grammar when it comes to the possesion form so I have doubt for those underlined

    I would say " this require" but I am not sure either.

    I am not a native speaker and my level of grammar is average, I feel like there is some mistakes but it's just a feeling so I am stuck.
    I would really appreciate if someone could help me please
    Thank you
    Last edited by aniska; 09-Jul-2015 at 23:35.

  3. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 2,355
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Can someone help me proofread this letter ?

    The Admission Tutor,

    Dear Mr M** B**,

    I heard that it is possible to ask the university for a feedback : My name is N.H and my Ucas Personal ID is *****. I applied for the Mathematical Economics and Statistics degree at your university, and I wanted to know if possible the reason of for my unsuccessful application; whether Is it was because I didn't meet the entry requirements or ? Or is it because I applied too late.

    I know that my score is slightly below the entry requirements: I have a French baccalaureate and my score is 13.83/20 and the minimum required by the university is 14/20. But, still, However, I wish to point out that I did score get an 'A*' grade in the required subjects: maths (18/20). I also got scored 'A' grades in other subjects-- philosophy and geography, and I already submitted left a copy of my GCSE and my baccalaureate diploma at the your admissions office a few months ago. I read on the university website that for some areas you may consider applicants who have achieved slightly lower grades than the standard entry requirements.


    Honestly, I wish to explain that the reason of why I couldn't for not achieving good results a higher score in mathematics in my bachelor degree is because as a distance learning student we I received the course materials in first at the start of December ( I have proof) and we had to take our the exam on in the first week of February. We have Thus, I only had two months to complete up to seven modules. It is very difficult to achieve good grades in all subjects in this very short time considering the fact that I had to learn all that material by myself. we are learning all by ourselves. Distance learning in France is less developed than in the UK. We don't have the same academic support, from the professors and we are only given is one book per module. Most of the time professors we receive late answers to our questions, late so we have to rely on ourselves instead. to understand. This requires a lot of determination and patience. It was common for me to spend about four hours or more nonstop without stopping to understand figuring out a single question in a particular exercise. on an exercice, Nevertheless, I would not give up until I found the answer. by all means as necessary.For all the modules, each difficulty that I overcame That gave me a high self much satisfaction, but it took a lot of time. Likewise, Furthermore, mathematics needs a lot of time and practice, and in and practice needs time. From my experience, maths it is not a subject you can understand by yourself with just reading a book, but with requires the explanations by an experienced academic. of a professor you can really see. That's why I couldn't achieve good results. Except for my poor grade in mathematics, I achieved correct good results in my other bachelor those similar modules-- my degree have in common with the the university's : "Applied economics and IT skills", "Principles of Economics", "Macroeconomics", "Statistics for Economists" and "Financial and Business Systems."


    My passion toward economics is genuine, and I am really fascinated by how economists have the skills to understand and analyse the world we live in. I am yearning one day, to hope one day I can formulate and contribute my own theories to the subject, but my firm goal is to work from the gouvernment in government policy making, and I believe your degree program will help me achieve my goal. I also believe that the University of Kent will provide the ideal environment in which to strengthen my understanding of economics. I set it the day I looked at the economics students profile of the university of Kent and saw a former student in mathematical economics and statistics doing an internship with the Gouvernment Economics Service. I was curious about it so I searched the website and looked through all the sections. My mind was determined ,that was exactely the career I was looking for. As far as I remember I have always wanted to learn and apply what I learned in real world situations: that's why I liked statistics and probabilities the best in mathematics and that's why I liked economics. If I can work for the Gouvernment Economics service, it will permit me to apply economical theory in real world situations.

    I think joining Economics and Statistics in a Bachelor is really the perfect combination to gain a critical analysis as mathematical tools are necessary to fully understand economics. I looked countless time through the three years modules and each time, I found every subject exciting and wisely choosen. I couldn't find any other university offering a bachelor as interesting as the University of Kent's . Besides, It is the only place where I can meet excellent academic support , be taught by leading economists and benefit from excellent carreers network to help me achieve my goal. To be able to pursue my ambition to be an economist, I need to gain enough knowledge and skills. I believe this degree is the best way I can achieve those and the University of Kent will provide the ideal environment in which to strengthen and test my understanding economics.


    Because Given that my bachelor's degree was similar in some aspects to the Mathematical Economics and Statistics program, I strongly believe that I will be able to achieve excellent results as I am very perseverent determined and hard working and already have good knowledge of economics. if I start from year one at the university with the all the economics basis I have now, make use of all my previous experience as a distance learning student and if I am taught by professors with whom I can interract with, I have no doubts


    Also I now have now the results of my final year which I can provide with my application. I urge you to was waiting for. Is it possible to take my distance learning circumstances into consideration and review the decision. I also wish for my application to be considered through Clearing and I need your advice and assistance with this.

    ? Is it possible to have an offer through cleaning ? If not, is it still possible to know the reason of my rejection ?


    Finally, With my score and qualification, if I take a foundation year in "Quantitative Methods for Buisness and Economics", will I be able qualify next year, in October 2016 to be accepted to the Mathematical Economics and Statistics course?


    Thank you very much for your kind consideration,


    Kind regards,


    Yours sincerely,

    NH.

    Please note:
    1- Check the qualification names I highlighted in blue. If they are correct, then leave them as they are. I mean do your "bachelor's degree" and "French Baccalaureate" refer to the same qualification?
    2- The university of Kent doesn't appear to offer the course you're talking about, whereas the University of Birmingham does!
    3- Consider taking out the enquiry about the foundation course at the end of the letter. You should see what their response to this letter is first. You can always apply for that foundation course, if necessary, later.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by teechar; 10-Jul-2015 at 11:24.

  4. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • Tunisia

    • Join Date: Jul 2015
    • Posts: 4
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #4

    Re: Can someone help me proofread this letter ?

    Thank you so much teechar I really do appreciate your help

  5. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 2,355
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #5

    Re: Can someone help me proofread this letter ?

    You're welcome, and I wish you good luck with your application.

  6. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • Tunisia

    • Join Date: Jul 2015
    • Posts: 4
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #6

    Re: Can someone help me proofread this letter ?

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    You're welcome, and I wish you good luck with your application.
    thank you :)
    Last edited by aniska; 11-Jul-2015 at 06:57.

Similar Threads

  1. Please can some proofread this letter
    By netgeek in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 25-Jan-2012, 08:12
  2. Could you help me proofread the following letter?
    By chowbarry in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 31-Jul-2011, 13:50
  3. Could you please proofread my letter
    By ARUK2008 in forum Letter Writing
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 26-Oct-2010, 03:19
  4. Informal letter - pls. proofread my letter
    By popsie in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 26-Mar-2008, 07:07

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •