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  1. B45
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    #1

    Please take a look at my writing- I've been coming here for the past six years and w

    Please take a look at my writing-

    I've been coming here for the past six years and would always order the breakfast burrito. Just so y'all know, I've had my fair share of breakfast burritos from across the state of California, so I can honestly tell you that I know my breakfast burritos. Not all burritos are created equal - the flavor, shape, and sizes are all different. And what condiments you put on it changes the way it tastes as well. While, generally speaking, the ingredients might be the same, but how you prepare and cook the filling/inside are what sets apart a good burrito to a fair burrito. Overall, BURGERS N MORE makes a decent burrito, and from a grade scale of A, B, C, D, and F. I would give it a solid B. Why? Their breakfast burrito is an above average size(pretty big), the ingredients are not premium, but good, no odd tastes. Cooking oil is moderately applied so the burrito doesn't come out over-greased, and that's the main reason I've been a return customer for ages.

  2. tzfujimino's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please take a look at my writing- I've been coming here for the past six years a

    O.K. I'll try BURGERS N MORE!

  3. Skrej's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Please take a look at my writing- I've been coming here for the past six years a

    Quote Originally Posted by Batman45 View Post
    Please take a look at my writing-

    I've been coming here for the past six years and would always order the breakfast burrito. Just so y'all (be aware this is very colloquial and regional) know, I've had my fair share of breakfast burritos from across the state of California, so I can honestly tell you that I know my breakfast burritos. Not all burritos are created equal - the flavor, shape, and sizes are all different. And wWhat condiments you put on it changes the way it tastes as well. While, generally speaking, the ingredients might be the same, but how you prepare and cook the filling/inside are what sets apart a good burrito to from a fair burrito. Overall, BURGERS N MORE makes a decent burrito, and from a grade scale of A, B, C, D, and F,(comma here, not period. See re-write below.) I would give it a solid B. Why? Their breakfast burrito is an above average size (pretty big), the ingredients are not premium, but good, with no odd tastes. Cooking oil is moderately applied used, so the burrito doesn't come out over-greased overly greasy, and that's the main reason I've been a return customer for ages.
    While, generally speaking, the ingredients might be the same, how you prepare and cook the filling are what sets apart a fair burrito from a great burrito.
    Generally we list the inferior version first, then the improved version. Consider this re-ordering (with other corrections from above.)

    Overall, BURGERS N MORE makes a decent burrito, and from a grade scale of A, B, C, D, and F. I would give it a solid B.
    Consider re-writing this to "Overall, BURGERS N MORE makes a decent burrito, and on a grade scale of A- F, I would give it a solid B.

    Their breakfast burrito is an above average size (pretty big), the ingredients are not premium, but good, with no odd tastes.
    I'd simplify this as "Their breakfast burrito is above average size (pretty big), and while the ingredients are not premium, they're still good with no odd tastes."

    Cooking oil is moderately applied used, so the burrito doesn't come out over-greased overly greasy, and that's the main reason I've been a return customer for ages.
    I'd consider rewriting this as something like "They don't use a lot of cooking oil, so the burrito doesn't come out overly greasy, and that's the main reason I've been a return customer for ages.

  4. B45
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    #4

    Re: Please take a look at my writing- I've been coming here for the past six years a

    Quote Originally Posted by Skrej View Post
    Generally we list the inferior version first, then the improved version. Consider this re-ordering (with other corrections from above.)


    Consider re-writing this to "Overall, BURGERS N MORE makes a decent burrito, and on a grade scale of A- F, I would give it a solid B.



    I'd simplify this as "Their breakfast burrito is above average size (pretty big), and while the ingredients are not premium, they're still good with no odd tastes."



    I'd consider rewriting this as something like "They don't use a lot of cooking oil, so the burrito doesn't come out overly greasy, and that's the main reason I've been a return customer for ages.
    Thank you so much!

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Please take a look at my writing- I've been coming here for the past six years a

    Because you've referred several times to "breakfast burritos", I would say "The condiments you [choose to] put on them change the way they taste as well". I don't like the "What condiments" at the start. I've changed it to "The". I would probably also accept "Which" but I definitely don't like "What" there.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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