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    #1

    Post Action speak louder than words

    Hi guys, I am new to the forum but already impressed with the kind of supports you have given each other. Could you guys please take a look at my essay and tell me what is wrong with my essay. I have an odd feeling that I wasn't follow the question and my essay wasn't cohesive enough.
    Thank so much.
    Question: "Do you agree or disagree with the statement "Actions speak louder than words". Use specific reasons and examples to support your response"

    Here is my 400-word answer

    We love to talk about our goals and how we will achieve them. I, too, once declared loudly my goal of changing the world. But how many of us actually take steps to be closer to our goal; how many of us have "change" the world most pressing concerns such as hunger, poverty, pollution. As there goes a saying "actions speak louder than words", I now strongly believe that our voice will be heard rather clearer by our action than by our mouth
    First of all, words are wind while actions tend to create more lasting results. For example, a beautiful house with carefully designed facade and harmonized interior speaks more of its talented architect than does the blueprint because people can actually see the house. Likewise, even the most persuasive speech about a project for underprivileged children would soon be forget, but the simple act of building a small playground for kids in a fishing village could be remembered forever. The playground can save many lives as the kids now have a safer place to play. Therefore, it is obvious that actions will last even if words are gone.
    Secondly, actions also show one's commitment, which is more persuasive than any other speech. Our economy system has proven that to be correct. In this competitive market, investors are more willing to put their money in an existing business, rather than a perfectly crafted business plan. Commitment, shown through the action the owner takes toward building his own company, is the driving force the investors look for. Once the plan is in its actual operation, it is easier to perfect it. My flawless business plan is case in point. That I had never taken any action outlined in my plan was the reason that I couldn't find any investors for months despite countless number of meetings and presentation. No sooner than I took the initial steps regardless of the money shortage did I see a flock of people who are willing to put their investment on me.
    All in all, not only does action generate permanent outcomes but it also demonstrates the passion and dedication of a person to his work. Rather than bragging about your golden plan for the future, the best thing one should do is dive in the work to make one's goal happen. The plan in operation might not succeed yet, but a plan only in paper is a definite failure.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Action speak louder than words

    What makes you think you didn't follow (do you mean "understand"?) the question or that your essay wasn't cohesive enough? Have you already had it marked/graded? If so, what mark did you get and what comments did your teacher make?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
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    #3

    Re: Action speak louder than words

    My essay haven't been graded yet and I want some proofreading. But I think it is not the purpose of this forum, so could you please remove or close this topic? I am sorry but it is my first time on this forum.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Action speak louder than words

    In fact, this is the correct sub-forum in which to post your essays.

    Perhaps our moderators can merge it with the thread below:
    https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/t...aning-in-essay

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Action speak louder than words

    Teechar, there is no correct sub-forum in which someone should post an essay which hasn't yet been graded.

    Thminh88, we do not and will not help with homework or assignments. The work you submit for grading must be your work and your work alone. Your teacher will tell you whether it's cohesive or if you haven't answered the question that was actually asked.

    Feel free to come back to us after it's been graded in case there are any comments from your teacher which you don't understand.

    Thread closed.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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