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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Post Is this letter witch request for autograph correct?

    I wrote letter to Derren Brown with request for autograph. Is this correct? i will send it soon.

    Dear Derren
    My name is Marcin. I am 15 years old. I live in Poland. I am interested in music and animals.
    I am also interested in mentalism, psychological illusion and hypnosis thanks to you.
    I am reading your book "Tricks of the mind". I hsve watched your programs : The heist,
    System,Russian roulette, Messiah and Fear and faith. They are very interesting.
    I know that you are busy so I do not write more because I think I am one of many people,
    but i have a request: Could you give me autograph on this photo?
    Regards, Marcin

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Is this letter witch request for autograph correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alohau View Post
    I wrote a letter to Derren Brown with a request for an autograph. Is this correct? I will send it soon.

    Dear Derren,

    My name is Marcin, and I am 15 years old. I live in Poland, and I am interested in music and animals.

    I am also interested in mentalism, psychological illusion and hypnosis thanks to you.
    I am reading your book "Tricks of the Mind". I have watched your programs-- The Heist,
    System, Russian Roulette, Messiah and Fear and Faith. They are very interesting.

    I know that you are busy, so I do not write more because I think I am one of many people,
    but I have a request: Could you give me please autograph on this photo for me?

    Regards,

    Marcin
    .

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Smile Re: Is this letter witch request for autograph correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    .
    Thank you very much :)

  4. Newbie
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    #4

    Re: Is this letter witch request for autograph correct?

    Is this version correct too?
    Dear Derren,

    My name is Marcin, and I am 15 years old. I live in Poland, and I am interested in music and animals.

    I am also interested in mentalism, psychological illusion and hypnosis thanks to you.
    I am reading your book "Tricks of the Mind". I have watched your programs-- The Heist,
    System, Russian Roulette, Messiah and Fear and Faith. These programs are very interesting.

    I know that you are busy, so I do not write more because I think I am one of many people who do this ,
    but I have a request: Could you , please autograph on this photo for me?

    Regards,

    Marcin

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    #5

    Re: Is this letter witch request for autograph correct?

    I am not a native speaker, but here is my best shot.
    Anyone thinks that my correction isn't correct, please give me your criticism. Thank you.

    "My name is Marcin, and I am 15 year old. I live in Poland, and I am interested in music and animals.

    I am also interested in mentalism, psychological illusion and hypnosis thanks to you.
    I am reading your book "Tricks of the Mind". I have watched your programs: The Heist,
    System, Russian Roulette, Messiah and Fear and Faith. These programs are very interesting.

    I know that you are busy, so I will stop my letter here.
    But could you please autograph on this photo for me? I really appreciate that.


    Regards,

    Marcin"

    I remove the part " I think I am one of many people who do this". I think it will confuse the reader because he would ask "do what". You can ask for his autograph directly (as you already did in your next sentence).

  5. teechar's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Is this letter witch request for autograph correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by thminh88 View Post
    I am 15 year old.
    Incorrect!


    Quote Originally Posted by thminh88 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by thminh88 View Post
    I (have) removed the part "I think I am one of many people who do this". I think it will confuse the reader because he/she would ask "do what?".
    Read the preceding text "not write more."

  6. Newbie
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    #7

    Re: Is this letter witch request for autograph correct?

    Which version is correct? :
    I know that you are busy, so I will stop my letter here.
    or

    I know that you are busy, so I stop my letter here.

  7. teechar's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Is this letter witch request for autograph correct?

    The first one.

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