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    #1

    Spring had been warm

    Here is another sentence from my short story. I am wondering if I have written it correctly. Would you please correct my mistakes or rephrase it to sound natural?


    Spring had been warm and sunny as before, but a chill had invaded people's hearts.

    (Would it be possible to use "was" instead of "had been" like: Spring was warm and sunny as before, but a chill had invaded people's hearts)?

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    #2

    Re: Spring had been warm

    I would not use the past perfect tense (had been warm) unless you are relating your statement to another event in the past.
    I am not a teacher.

  1. Eckaslike's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Spring had been warm

    Following on from tedmc's point:

    If the chill in people's hearts was happening at the same time in the past as the warm spring, then I would use "was".

    Using "was" would mean that at that time the spring was warm, as it usually had been in previous springs, but was contrasted by the chill in people's hearts.

    My natural inclination while reading was to turn "had been" into "was", but as tedmc is saying, context is important.

    If you could let us know a sentence or two from before the one you posted, then that should enable us to identify exactly which form you need.
    Last edited by Eckaslike; 08-Aug-2015 at 18:03.

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    #4

    Re: Spring had been warm

    Eckaslike,
    This is the part of the text which precedes "Spring was warm..."

    But the citizens of his homeland seemed to have a short memory. They cheered their leaders who shepherded them straight into a slaughterhouse. They were not interested in creating new job opportunities, building new factories, and a better future for their offspring. What made their hearts pound was not the promise of peace and love, but blood which would be spilt, and the mass graves dug all over the country.
    Spring was warm and sunny as before, but a chill had invaded people’s hearts. Old friendships were broken, marriages collapsed, sports and other clubs split, and work colleagues stopped talking to each other because of the political disagreements.

  2. Eckaslike's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Spring had been warm

    For me, "was" works perfectly there.

    It works because you are continuing the narrative about that same time, when all these events occurred.

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