Animals should be treated justly.

[EmaanKhan]

Please correct my essay.

Animals should be treated justly, as they are a part of our environment. Generally, most people keep animals as pets. That’s fine, as long as they are well kept and cared for. People develop a mutual relationship with their pets. For example, when a blind man finds his way around with the support of his dog. Both parties get benefits. The dog obtains a home and the man can easily find his way around.


Some animals are mistreated. For instance, in zoos, they are locked up and constantly stared at by people. In many countries, they are used as workers. They pull carts or carriages and are used for people’s entertainment. The animals are whipped if their performance drops. Other animals are hunted and poached because of their valuable skins or their bones.


The appropriate measures should be taken against poachers. As for the animals, they should be released into the wild as they won’t be comfortable in their environment. Animals don’t like to be caged. They should be free. If they are confined, they may become restless and attack their imprisoners. Animals are made to be free, so why lock them up?

Im an IGCSE student nd please give me some tips accordingly.

 

[Rover_KE]

Welcome to Using English.

I have moved your thread to this forum and changed your title. We need your threads to have more helpful titles than 'p'.

 

[tedmc]

Animals should be treated justly, as they are a part of our environment. Generally, most people keep animals as pets. That’s fine, as long as they are well kept and cared for. People develop a mutual relationship with their pets. For example, when a blind man finds his way around with the support of his dog[STRIKE](.) B[/STRIKE] both parties get benefits. The dog[STRIKE] obtains[/STRIKE] gets a home and the man can easily find his way around.


Some animals are mistreated. For instance, in zoos, they are locked up and constantly stared at by people. In many countries, they are [STRIKE]used as workers[/STRIKE] made to do work. They pull carts or carriages and are used for people’s entertainment. The animals are whipped​ (punished) if their performance drops. Other animals are hunted and poached [STRIKE]because of[/STRIKE] for their valuable skins or their bones.


[STRIKE]The [/STRIKE] Appropriate measures should be taken against poachers. As for the animals, they should be released into the wild as they won’t be comfortable in their new environment. Animals don’t like to be caged. They should be free. If they are confined, they may become restless and attack their imprisoners. Animals are [STRIKE]made[/STRIKE] born to be free, so why lock them up?