"Is academic excellence the only factor determine one's success?"

Status
Not open for further replies.

iereiy

Junior Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2015
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
Mali
Hi, I have constructed a short essay of the above title, hope you will look at it. I am thinking if there are any technical ways of writing or idioms to replace some of the phrases. Thanks.

Ignorance was common in the past. Nowadays, education is indispensable. Everyone is required to complete at least 10 years of studies, it differs between countries. Education has taken a significant place in everyone's heart, especially parents. Majority of them unanimously agree that academic excellence is the guarantee of success in modern society. The topic has recently been a cause celebre among educationist and conservative.

Academic excellence is undoubtedly a stepping stone towards the pursuit of success in numerous factions of society. It heralds a giant leap towards opportunities in all walks of life. The more qualified you are, the higher the chances of you clinching the job that has other candidates vying for. Noting is more delirious than being the only candidate chosen for the coveted field, leaving others in consternation tinged with jealousy. In the same breadth, your records of being a top scholar will certainly make you stand head and shoulders above others in competing managerial post.

Societies are now caught up in the paper-chase, many believe that certificates speak volumes about one's personality and led credence to the asseverated skills. It has been used as a yardstick for measuring intellectual capability of an individual. As mentioned earlier, your qualification decides whether you can take your place among the exclusively privileged strata of society.

Although academic excellence might truly be an indicator of one's success, I, however, beg to differ. The changing technology and competition has far outpaced the current education system. Overly focus on assessment limits us the chances of experiencing life. One should always upgrade his knowledge to stay ahead of times. Hence, qualification does not guarantee jobs for graduates.

Moreover, education is now unified. The subject provided in school might not be what the students are interested in. Dropping out might be viable if you have decided to carve your own life by studying what you want. It is not a bad choice too as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are two prominent examples of entrepreneurs who prove that certificates are nothing more than the papers they are printed on. Despite little schooling, they exemplify the success whom many want to emulate. If you want to halt your studies, you should constantly strive for excellence by involving yourself in what you want in order to become another success that would be on the tip of everyone's tongue.

In conclusion, one should equip himself with skills relevant to type of life he would like to lead. the success of life depends on a combination of other factors, not only the academic excellence.
 
Last edited:

Matthew Wai

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2013
Member Type
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
I would use 'in' instead of 'determine' in the thread title, but I am not a teacher.
 

tedmc

VIP Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
"Is academic excellence the only factor in determining one's success?"

When are you going to turn this essay in for marking?
 

Matthew Wai

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2013
Member Type
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
"Is academic excellence the only factor in determining one's success?"
It sounds to me as if 'Is academic excellence the only consideration in determining whether one has achieved success?', but I am not a teacher.
 

tzfujimino

Key Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2007
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Japanese
Home Country
Japan
Current Location
Japan
Yes, Matthew, but that seems to be the OP's intended meaning.
:)
iereiy, they are Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.
:)
 

Matthew Wai

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2013
Member Type
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
Yes, Matthew, but that seems to be the OP's intended meaning.
Having read the following, it seems to me that that's not the OP's intended meaning, but I am not a teacher.

Majority of them unanimously agree that academic excellence is the guarantee of success in modern society.
 

iereiy

Junior Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2015
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
Mali
"Is academic excellence the only factor in determining one's success?"

When are you going to turn this essay in for marking?
Monday 17/8
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
We don't help with homework or assignments that are going to be submitted for marking or grading. You must submit your own work without any outside help. That way, your teacher will be able to see where you weaknesses are. After you have had your essay marked, you can come back to us for help if you don't understand any of your teacher's comments or corrections. Good luck.

Thread closed.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top