Student or Learner
please help grade this essay:)
As there is an increasing amount of advertisements every day,the variety of advertisements we see each day has also increased.There are multifarious advertisements on the television;for instance,ads promoting different products.The viewers of advertisements often include people of different ages.They can be young children or mature adults.Some people may think television adverting directed towards young children should be verboten.However;in my opinion,television advertising directed towards young children should not be prohibited.
First,not all advertisements shown on the television are baneful for young children.Whether an advertisement is suitable for young children depends on the content of the advertisement.For example,the government in Hong Kong has used the cartoon character "McDull"to promulgate its plan on a political reform and provide information on its plan.This shows that advertisements can be informative.
Second,as young children may get inappropriate content from other sources,it is not practical to ban all advertisements made for them .As we live in a technological era,young children can often be seen with their hands holding an iPad or iPhone.They can still get inappropriate information on the internet.For example,violent materials can easily be found on online forums.Thus,it is not possible to filter out all inappropriate information to protect the fledgling children. Television advertisements can be a good educational tool for parents in fact.If children watch the television with their parents,parents can tell them which advertisements have distorted reality.Parents can imbue them with correct values at the same time.In fact,students should have the freedom to explore and learn new things.Under the guidance of their parents,I think television advertisements can actually bring more good than harm to children
Lastly,it is too quixotic to ban all advertisements directed towards young children.If the authority concerned sets a precedent by proscribing such advertisements,the advertisers may be piqued.Thus,opprobriums may be hurled against the the government.
Based on the aforementioned reasons ,it is my strong belief that television advertising directed towards young children should be allowed.
When will you submit your essay for grading/marking?
One of the biggest problems with it is the spacing around punctuation. You need to put a space after every comma and full stop. Don't put a space before a comma or a full stop.
Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.