I need a bit of help regarding a formal e-mail I wish to write to my head teacher regarding a band performance, I wish for Linkin Park to perform at my school, to raise money for this, I wish to raise money for Music for Relief (their charity) . Most of my year is passionate about the band, and because it isnít long before our exams start, (in May) then I wish just to allow our years to relax before all the stress of exams attack us. I really want this mail to look perfect and don't ruin the slim chance of this happening because I didnít make it sound or look right.
This is what I have so far:

Dear Mr ***,
As our Year 11 exams are approaching shortly, I wish for a chance for our year to relax with a final concert as, once the exams start, we wonít get much chance to relax. In order to raise money for their charity, in the hopes of requesting them to play at our school, can I request that we have fundraising days to raise around £1000 - £2000 for them.

I believe this is possible as we are a caring and determined school when it comes to fundraising, I believe this will benefit both sides, as, not only will it give Linkin Park money to help victims of natural disasters, but it will also give the current Year 11ís (my year group) to relax one final time before the exam season starts.

I would greatly appreciate if you could consider this for the new school term.

Kind regards,