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    #1

    Post Please evaluate IELTS essay and point our erros and mistakes.

    Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.
    To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    There is no doubt that crime rates dramatically increased over the last few years. Some criminal managed themselves as good human beings while their stay in prisons. One of the reasons is that they have practically seen the problems and sacrifice they have to make. Some people argue that these are the best examples of creating awareness about crimes in teenagers. However, others state that a person with criminal background will not leave indispensable impression on people minds.

    Firstly, it is the duty of government and the people to identify the aspects of crimes in teenagers. After that, there should be workshop and seminars which highlight the consequences of committing crimes. It is also the responsibility of parents and guardian to have an eye on their children activities. While making little efforts, one can save many criminal activities in their surroundings.

    Secondly, People who were the part of immoral doings; become good citizen after prison could help teenager in eradicating this sin. They have personally experienced all the suffering they have to go through after compelling crime. They know the possible reason, why and how youngster involved in such cruel doings. Their worlds would leave in-deniable impressions on people minds and will help to eliminate crime from the society.

    Finally, I strongly believe that once a criminal is not always a criminal. If one has regret about his past and has changed himself should be treated like a normal human being. Furthermore, they could help teenager from crimes while telling them about their sacrifice of time, health and family.

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    #2

    Re: Please evaluate IELTS essay and point our erros and mistakes.

    There is no doubt that crime rates have dramatically increased over the last few years. Some criminals have managed to redeem themselves as to become good human beings while their stay in prisons. One of the reasons is that they have practically seen had first-hand experience of the problems(what problems?) and realise the great sacrifices they have had to makemade. Some people argue that they are make the best examples of in creating awareness about crimes in among teenagers. However, others state think that a person with a criminal background will not leave a indispensable useful impression on peoples' minds.

    Firstly, it is the duty of the government and the people to identify the aspects extent of the problem of crimes in teenagers. After that, There should be attempts to create awareness through workshops and seminars which to highlight the dire consequences of committing crimes. It is also the responsibility of parents and guardians to have an eye on monitor their childrens' activities. While making little efforts, one can save many criminal activities in their surroundings.(?? With the efforts from all parties to address the problem, the incidence of crimes could certainly be reduced)

    Secondly, people who were the part of immoral doings have committed crimes (;) and become good citizens after spending time in prison could help teenager in eradicating this sin young people to steer away from crimes. They have personally experienced all the consequences and sufferings they have to go through after compelling from committing crimes. They know the possible reason, why and how youngsters get involved in such cruel doings crimes. Their worlds experiences would leave in-deniable impressions on people minds and will help to eliminate reduce crimes from in the society.

    Finally, I strongly believe that "once a criminal is not always a criminal". If one has regretabout his pastrepented and has changed himself is willing to change for the better, one should be given a chance to be treated like a normal human being. Furthermore, with their life experiences, they people who have been rehabilitated could help teenagers to stay away from crimes while telling them about their sacrifice of time, health and family.
    Last edited by tedmc; 25-Aug-2015 at 13:51.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #3

    Re: Please evaluate IELTS essay and point our erros and mistakes.

    Thank you so much for your efforts and time.

    it looks like, the eassay is full of mistakes. However, i will try to improve by understanding mistakes you have pointed out.

    meanwhile please also evaluate my other two essays.

    https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/t...sta?highlight=

    https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/t...liv?highlight=

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