Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
I am writing a short story, and I am not sure if these sentences sound natural. I would appreciate if someone would take a look at them and correct my mistakes.
How he wished to feel the warm water splashing on his body. He imagined standing under the shower for hours with his eyes closed, letting the stream wash away the dirt, stench and fear. But these days whenever he turned his eyes towards the shower cubicles, he flinched and almost threw up because the walls were stained with large blotches of dried blood. In this wretched disused factory, the red liquid flew instead of water and swept humanity away. What was left over were two sorts of creatures, the ones that had an opportunity to act out their perverted dreams and wishes, and the others whose only goal was to avoid a prolonged, torturous death.
How he wished to feel the warm water splashing on his body. He imagined standing under the shower for hours with his eyes closed, letting the stream wash away the dirt, stench and fear. But these days whenever he turned his eyes towards the shower cubicles, he flinched and almost threw up because the walls were stained with large blotches of dried blood. In this wretched disused factory, the red liquid flew instead of water and swept humanity away. What was left over were two sorts of creatures, the ones that had an opportunity to act out their perverted dreams and wishes, and the others whose only goal was to avoid a prolonged, torturous death.