Student or Learner
Please evaluate my Ielts essay and point out mistakes.
Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?
Obesity among children has dramatically increased over the last few years in developing countries. This is an alarming situation, which should be control at its earliest. It is a mutual responsibility of both individual and government to identify the reasons of this vulnerable disease and offer solutions to rectify it.
Nowadays, the trend of hoteling drastically increased. Peoples do not like to cook at home. Children have become addicted to junk food such as burger, pizza, grilled chicken etc. One of the reasons is that both parents are working simultaneously that is why they have less time to cook at home. Furthermore, rise in technological development steadily eliminate the concept of physical routine works from our lives. Children are more opted towards computer games, mobiles and gadgets than playing any sports or doing exercises. Lack of these activities is the primary reason of obesity.
In order to control this problem, physical education should be mandatory at school level. Each individual is required participate in any sports activity on daily basis for thirty to forty minutes. This will definitely improve their health and mind. Apart from that, parents should encourage their children for playing their favorite sports. In addition to this, they should be served with fruits and vegetables which is the healthy source of vitamins and irons.
In conclusion, I would like to say that obesity could be controlled by changing our life style and eating habits. Parentís attention and care could contribute a lot in this regards. The role of government cannot be neglected while addressing this issue.