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    #1

    Zohri steals a time capsule

    Can anyone check my grammatical mistakes? Thank you.

    Short Plot
    Zohri steals a time capsule that dives him back in time to witness all the struggles that his ancestors go through in order to achieve independence. He finally understands the true meaning of patriotism.

    Long plot
    Zohri discovers a time capsule called Vision 2020 which was buried by Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad. He steals the time capsule but it ends up taking him back to the past, where he finds himself arriving at the era when the Malays are struggling to achieve independence and at the same time bringing them out of poverty. Zohri witnesses the admirable struggles and difficulties his ancestors go through and finally understands the true meaning of patriotism.

    • Member Info
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      • Chinese
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      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
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    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,289
    #2

    Re: Zohri steals a time capsule

    Rethink the use of certain words:

    time capsule that drive him back in time
    admirable struggles and difficulties
    I am not a teacher.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
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      • Current Location:
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    #3

    Re: Zohri steals a time capsule

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    Rethink the use of certain words:

    time capsule that drive him back in time
    admirable struggles and difficulties
    I can see the difference between drive and dives! But not for admirable, and I think the sentence is nice without the word "admirable", what you say?

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