Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. Just Joined
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Sep 2015
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Post Please review/correct my SOP for applying in PHD Mechanical from IIT,India

    Necessity is the mother of all inventions, however obsession of getting things repaired by yourself, leads your passage to become a "doctor" no matter if a machine is like human, its heart is like engine and brain what you programme or upgrade, so why can't be the doctor of Machines.
    I was raised in a middle class family, where we have to cut our expenses ,so as to save, my father was earlier a shop keeper used to run an electrical shop (now retired) at the age of learning names, when I started learning alphabets my father introduced me to the world of motors, batteries, screw drivers and wires, he used to bring scrapped equipment’s to home and I used to play with those toys, and that became the part of daily routine.
    Sometime I used to short the batteries, run motors and that was the time my father played very well by moulding me to love these gadgets to become technically sound.
    When my friends grew while learning other things like games such as Cricket, Tip-cat, while I grew up learning machines.
    When I started understanding the world (age around 8 or 10 years) I was so trained that I used to change the tube lights, sometimes electric switches.
    The concept of dynamo motor which is used to swing the vents of cooler or air conditioner, stirred my mind to find a device that could be fitted on the rear rim of bicycle to produce electricity if reversed to make it a generator, and fortunately my father found it and realised the innovative talent in me, so I installed a light on my bicycle started envy of my other friends (being childish).
    As we grew up more with the phase of time I used to accompany my Dad in shop as well balanced with my education.
    In order to upgrade I advised my Dad to get a computer for our shop.
    So while assembling, I learned to assemble the central processing unit, hence started repairing computers in order to earn money, and later I started assembling computers,
    While in business I learned that business were not secured until if we were doing business on large scale, and could not be my future to earn bread.
    Unfortunately my father suffered losses and eventually we had to shut our showroom(due to theft), fortunately we got tenants, one thing my father realised that my handwriting was very poor and could make my career in Mechanical engineering, the branch of designers. But he was wrong when he realised later about thermal, aerospace etc.
    The pursuit for knowledge has been the supreme goal in my life, and I had been to Pune for my graduation, even though I wasn’t good at academy during engineering, however best at practical knowledge and that’s all what world needs as per my opinion. However, later I realized I was wrong when I started earning in a part time job as a tutor, because in order to pass information you should have that information.
    During my graduation I met with friends whom goals were totally different from mine. I wanted to be in technical where as they joined coaching for CAT(for entrance in management), as per them there would not be any scope of new inventions, as humans could fly now without wings, they have landed on moon. They could see the person thousand miles away, connected to the internet without cables, automation did not require more technical labour, the world war 3 would not be a war of destruction however a Hurdle of achieving business targets.
    Their words stirred my soul in spite of my obsession with machines, why I chose science over commerce, if I had to go for business, but my inner conscience was shouting at my mind Raghav, you are at right path, agreed that scope of new inventions were very less but, scope of improvements were very high.
    Agreed human has landed on moon, but not from an INDIAN aircraft, man never flew on INDIAN aeroplane, India spend lots of money in defence, which is not only flushing our money, but no better technology.
    People may not have forecasted, what would happen to these aircrafts once the oil runs out in spite of knowing the fact that thermal power plants are very less efficient, they waste more than 50% of the fuel, here reengineering is required, “improvements are required”.
    My friends at some points were right, yes the next phase of the world would to achieve business targets, but they forgotten that if scholars won’t provide new technology to our country, then we would again become slave to these foreign businessmen.
    India cannot become a superpower until it gets a different technology.

    So my purpose is clear and Indian Institutes of Technology can provide me the passage to fulfil my dreams. I would be glad if given a research or a teaching assistantship because in addition to easing the financial burden on me, it would go a long way in preparing me for a career in research and teaching. I look forward to a challenging career in research which may even be arduous and demanding at times, but I am confident that with my sincerity and dedication, I will be able to make a meaningful contribution to the ongoing research developments and live up to the high standards expected off your university.
    Given an opportunity, I shall strive to channel my unbridled efforts into more productive avenues.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,289
    #2

    Re: Please review/correct my SOP for applying in PHD Mechanical from IIT,India

    Necessity is the mother of all inventions, however obsession of getting things repaired by yourself, leads your passage to become a "doctor" no matter if a machine is like human, its heart is like engine and brain what you programme or upgrade, so why can't be the doctor of Machines.

    I was raised in a middle class family, where we have to cut our expenses ,so as to save, my father was earlier a shop keeper used to run an electrical shop (now retired) at the age of learning names, when I started learning alphabets my father introduced me to the world of motors, batteries, screw drivers and wires, he used to bring scrapped equipment’s to home and I used to play with those toys, and that became the part of daily routine.


    The original proverb is : Necessity is the mother of invention.
    Your sentences are too long, which makes them hard to digest. There is no advantage in having such long sentences.

    I am not a teacher.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #3

    Re: Please review/correct my SOP for applying in PHD Mechanical from IIT,India

    Quote Originally Posted by Raghav Vij View Post
    Necessity is the mother of all invention; however obsession of with getting things repaired by yourself leads your passage you to become a "doctor" of sorts. no matter if A machine is like a human; its heart is like engine the motor, and its brain is what you programme or upgrade, so why can't be the I consider myself a doctor of machines.

    I was raised in a middle-class family, where we have had to cut our expenses so as to save. My father was earlier a shop keeper. He is now retired, but he used to run an electrical shop. (now retired) at the age of learning names, when I started learning alphabets From an early age, my father introduced me to the world of motors, batteries, screwdrivers and wires. He used to bring bits of scrap ped and other such equipment ’s to home, and I used to play with those "toys", and that became the a part of my daily routine. Sometime I used to would short the batteries , run and do various experiments with motors, and that was the time my father played very well by moulding me how I got to love these gadgets at such an early age. to become technically sound. When While my friends grew while up learning other things like being interested in games such as cricket and Tip-cat, while I grew up learning machines. When I started understanding the world (age around 8 or 10 years) I was so trained that When I was around 8 or 10 years old, I used to change the tube lights, and sometimes electric switches. The concept of a dynamo motor, which is used to swing the vents of coolers or air conditioners, stirred my mind to find a device that could be fitted on the rear rim of my bicycle to produce electricity and which if when reversed to make it became a generator. and f Fortunately my father found it and realised the innovative talent in me , so I helped me make such a gadget which produced installed a light on my bicycle; I became the started envy of my other friends. (being childish).

    As we grew up more with the phase of time Growing up, I used to accompany my Dad in father to his shop after I finished my homework. as well balanced with my education. In order to upgrade Later on, I advised my Dad father to get a computer for our shop, which I learnt how to assemble and disassemble. . So while assembling, I learned to assemble the central processing unit, Hence, I started repairing computers in order to earn money, and later I started assembling computers for customers. I also realized that I could not earn enough working on a small scale like that. While in business I learned that business were not secured until if we were doing business on large scale, and could not be my future to earn bread. Unfortunately, my father suffered losses and eventually we had to shut ourshowroom (due to theft). fortunately we got tenants, one thing my father realised that my handwriting was very poor and could make my career in Mechanical engineering, the branch of designers. But he was wrong when he realised later about thermal, aerospace etc.

    The pursuit for of knowledge has been the supreme goal in my life, and I had been to so i went to study in Pune for my engineering qualification. graduation, Even though I wasn’t good at academy during engineering, however best at formerly focused mainly on the practical aspects of engineering, knowledge and that’s all what world needs as per my opinion. However, later I realized later the importance of theory too. That was wrong when I started earning in a working part time job as a tutor to earn some money while at university. , because I realized then that in order to pass information, you should have and fully understand that information in the first place.

    During my graduation I met with undergraduate course, I had many friends whom whose goals were totally different from mine. I wanted to be in technical whereas they joined undertook coaching courses for CAT (for entrance in management). I believe that it is this passion for technology that leads to as per them there would not be any scope of new inventions, as humans could fly now without wings and they have landed on moon. They could We can see the a person thousands of miles away, connected to the internet without cables. Thus, the ongoing technical revolution is a never-ending source of inspiration and motivation for me. automation did not require more technical labour, the world war 3 would not be a war of destruction however a Hurdle of achieving business targets.
    Their words stirred my soul in spite of my obsession with machines, why I chose science over commerce, if I had to go for business, but my inner conscience was shouting at my mind Raghav, you are at right path, agreed that scope of new inventions were very less but, scope of improvements were very high.
    Agreed human has landed on moon, but not from an INDIAN aircraft, man never flew on INDIAN aeroplane, India spend lots of money in defence, which is not only flushing our money, but no better technology.
    People may not have forecasted, what would happen to these aircrafts once the oil runs out in spite of knowing the fact that thermal power plants are very less efficient, they waste more than 50% of the fuel, here reengineering is required, “improvements are required”.
    I also believe the scope for re-engineering of existing technology is enormous, especially so as to come up with more energy-efficient processes given the finite and declining reserves of fossil fuels in the world.

    My friends at some points were right; yes the next phase priority in the world of production would be to achieve business targets, but they forget forgotten that if scholars won’t provide innovators do not continue to deliver new technology to our country, then we would again become slave to these lose our competitiveness to foreign business. men. India cannot become a superpower until it gets a different the latest technology.

    So my purpose is clear and the Indian Institutes of Technology can provide me the passage to fulfil my dreams. I would be glad if given grateful to be offered a research position or a teaching assistantship because in addition to easing the financial burden on me, it would go a long way in preparing me for a career in research and teaching. I look forward to a challenging career in research, which may even be arduous and demanding at times, but and I am confident that with my sincerity and dedication, I will be able to make a meaningful contribution to the ongoing research and development at the institute and live up to the high standards expected there. off your university. Given an opportunity, I shall strive to channel my unbridled efforts into more productive avenues.

    I thank you for your kind consideration, and look forward to your positive reply.
    .

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 24,447
    #4

    Re: Please review/correct my SOP for applying in PHD Mechanical from IIT,India

    teechar, I take my hat off to you. That was a monumental undertaking. Respect!

    And it didn't even get a 'Thank' from the OP. There's gratitude for you.
    You must be wondering why you bothered. Have a drink on me.
    Last edited by Rover_KE; 08-Oct-2015 at 22:14.

  3. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #5

    Re: Please review/correct my SOP for applying in PHD Mechanical from IIT,India

    Thank you Rover_KE for your very kind thoughts.
    We're so lucky to have such a thoughtful and considerate moderator on the forum.

    Yes, I also often wonder why posters don't click the Like/Thank buttons as a simple and polite gesture to show their appreciation.

    As for that drink, well I'd love to have a drink with you in person sometime in the future, but for now I'll enjoy the virtual one. Cheers! .

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hindi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Oct 2015
    • Posts: 2
    #6

    Thumbs up Re: Please review/correct my SOP for applying in PHD Mechanical from IIT,India

    @teacher....great efforts....deserved to be big round of appreciation...pl go on helping people in you free time..I am sure people surely recgnose your efforts...wel done..

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,805
    #7

    Re: Please review/correct my SOP for applying in PHD Mechanical from IIT,India

    Quote Originally Posted by johan12102015 View Post
    @teacher....great efforts....deserved to be big round of appreciation...pl go on helping people in you free time..I am sure people surely recgnose your efforts...wel done..
    Johan, we do not connect sentences with long strings of dots. One single full stop suffices. Please also note that you must write in full sentences and use complete words. This is not Twitter so you don't need to put @ before someone's username. Check you have spelt usernames correctly.

    Your post should have looked something like this:

    Teechar, thank you for all your efforts. You deserve a huge round of applause. Please carry on helping people in your free time. I am sure people will recognise your efforts. Well done.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 836
    #8

    Re: Please review/correct my SOP for applying in PHD Mechanical from IIT,India

    teechar,
    You are wonderful and beautiful. I appreciated you and learned a lot from you.

  5. konungursvia's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 5,158
    #9

    Re: Please review/correct my SOP for applying in PHD Mechanical from IIT,India

    I think you should rewrite it with less narrative. It's a poor letter as it stands. It reads like there is too much BS, in my view. Simply state 1) what your relevant studies have been; 2) what you plan to research, in detail, once there; and 3) who or what exactly in their department makes you want to come there (this is the MOST important part). Leave out the BS about dreams and other fantasies. Get to the research details. Show you have done several hours' homework on who is at your target department, and what exactly they are researching.

Similar Threads

  1. [General] motivation letter for applying PHD program
    By Amanimj in forum Letter Writing
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 16-Mar-2013, 14:29
  2. Need a help, pls correct my SOp for applying for visa.
    By C.p. Karthigeyan in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 28-May-2012, 09:04
  3. SOP for admission in Ph. D. program in Mechanical Engineering at Canada
    By totallamp in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 27-Jun-2010, 04:18
  4. SoP for a PhD at a Ivy league B School
    By palgupt in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-Nov-2009, 20:28
  5. SOP for PhD in Computer Science
    By masood_mj in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-Nov-2009, 00:15

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •