A quote within a quote

[adler]

I’m writing a fictional story, and came up with a grammar issue. I’m not sure if this is the right place to post it, but I’m hoping that someone can help me out.

Basically, I am writing a quote within a quote. I know that the general rule (American English) is that the person speaking goes in double quotes, and that the inside quotes are single quotes.

However, I’m not sure if it works that way when the character is quoting a whole conversation. I wrote it out below- I’m not sure if I did it right, or if its easy to follow. But if anyone can give me advice on how to make it clear, I would appreciate it.

Thank you.


Nick looked around the room before he continued speaking.

“‘Kyle,’ I said. But I stopped, at a loss of words.

“Kyle looked down at his daughter’s still form. ‘It hurts,’ he said. ‘It hurts so much.’

“’I know,’ I whispered. ‘Now you know.’

“Kyle whimpered. ‘Know?’

“I nodded my head, and sighed. ‘You know what you have done to thousands of people.’

““Kyle shook his head. 'What have I done? They killed my daughter!'

“I gripped his shoulder. 'And you killed theirs.' Understanding dawned on the bereaved father’s face. ‘You killed parents, children, and siblings,’ I continued. ‘You are the one who scared the people you then murdered. Look at her,’ I said, pointing to the dead child. “She was awake. She was terrified. You have done that.”

“’Don’t…’ Kyle croaked, his eyes wide, staring down at his daughter.

“’You were the cause of the loss their families had to suffer,’ I continued. ‘Their children had to grow up without a parent. Their siblings missed their brother or sister. Aaron will probably not even remember his sister.’

“’No…’

“’You have caused other parents to fell what you are now feeling. Thousands of people, Kyle. On your head.’

“’No!’ Kyle yelled. ‘Stop! I can’t… I already did it! What can I do about it now? It’s too late now.’

“’You can make a promise, Kyle, to never do it again.’

“’I do,’ said Kyle, looking down at his daughter. ‘I will never have anyone killed again.’

“’Not good enough,’ I said, harshly. ‘In a week you will forget.’

“’I won’t,’ said Kyle. ‘I’ll never…’ he stopped and closed his eyes. He picked up his daughter’s still body and held her to his chest, not caring that he was getting blood all over himself.

“’I swear,’ he said, ‘on Alice,’ he stopped for a moment. ‘I swear on Alice’s grave,’ he said again. ‘That no one will ever feel this way again. Not if I have anything to say about it.’”

“And as far as I know," Nick said, “He hasn't broken that sacred promise. Until now.”

Nick stopped talking. Cherry felt horrified. She had never known that about her father. Never suspected…

 

[probus]

I think it is much worse even than Piscean stated. If you write "Nick looked around the room before he continued speaking" the next sentence has to be about what Nick said or did next. There is no other way to rescue yourself from that linguistic situation.

 

[TheParser]

Nick looked around the room before he continued speaking.

"Kyle," I said. But I stopped, at a loss of words.

Kyle looked down at his daughter’s still form. "It hurts," he said. "It hurts so much."

“’I know," I whispered. "Now you know."

Kyle whimpered, ‘"Know?"

I nodded my head and sighed, "You know what you have done to thousands of people."

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


Hello, Adler:

I have rewritten a few sentences above in a way that works for me.

When you referred to a quotation in a quotation, I immediately thought of something like:

When I spoke with Mona yesterday, she said, "I distinctly overheard Joe say, 'I love Betty.' " [Joe's quotation is inside Mona's quotation.] (P.S. Mona and Joe are engaged to be married!)

 

[adler]

Thanks for all the replies and suggestions.

So the beginning part is actually a bit different. I had changed it when I posted it the first time to make it simpler, but I think I made it more complicated instead.

I prefer not using italics for more than one word, but if its the only way to save this section...

Basically, Nick had been telling a long story. Until now, he was just describing what had happened. Now, it changes to him relating a conversation he'd had with his brother many years previously. He is talking to his brother (reminding him of the conversation) and to other people, telling them about it.

Instead of the line about Nick looking around, is the paragraph below. I re-posted the whole conversation, for clarity.



“After hearing the reports, Alice’s mother mutely nodded and left the room. The doctor followed her out to give her some sleeping pills so she could have a dreamless sleep. I was left alone in Alice’s room with the girl’s father.

“‘Kyle,’ I said. But I stopped, at a loss of words.

“Kyle looked down at his daughter’s still form. ‘It hurts,’ he said. ‘It hurts so much.’

“’I know,’ I whispered. ‘Now you know.’

“Kyle whimpered. ‘Know?’

“I nodded my head, and sighed. ‘You know what you have done to thousands of people.’

“’Kyle shook his head. 'What have I done? They killed my daughter!'

“I gripped his shoulder. 'And you killed theirs.' Understanding dawned on the bereaved father’s face. ‘You killed parents, children, and siblings,’ I continued. ‘You are the one who scared the people you then murdered. Look at her,’ I said, pointing to the dead child. “She was awake. She was terrified. You have done that.”

“’Don’t…’ Kyle croaked, his eyes wide, staring down at his daughter.

“’You were the cause of the loss their families had to suffer,’ I continued. ‘Their children had to grow up without a parent. Their siblings missed their brother or sister. Aaron will probably not even remember his sister.’

“’No…’

“’You have caused other parents to fell what you are now feeling. Thousands of people, Kyle. On your head.’

“’No!’ Kyle yelled. ‘Stop! I can’t… I already did it! What can I do about it now? It’s too late now.’

“’You can make a promise, Kyle, to never do it again.’

“’I do,’ said Kyle, looking down at his daughter. ‘I will never have anyone killed again.’

“’Not good enough,’ I said, harshly. ‘In a week you will forget.’

“’I won’t,’ said Kyle. ‘I’ll never…’ he stopped and closed his eyes. He picked up his daughter’s still body and held her to his chest, not caring that he was getting blood all over himself.

“’I swear,’ he said, ‘on Alice,’ he stopped for a moment. ‘I swear on Alice’s grave,’ he said again. ‘That no one will ever feel this way again. Not if I have anything to say about it.’”

“And as far as I know," Uncle Nick said, “He hasn't broken that sacred promise. Until now.”

Uncle Nick stopped talking. Cherry felt horrified. She had never known that about her father. Never suspected…

She looked over at her father, and was shocked to see his arms covering his face, his head down on the table, body shaking with sobs.

 

[adler]

Short of italicizing the whole conversation, how can I get rid of the quotes? What can I do to show who is talking, and that Nick is still just repeating all this?

 

[adler]

Does this method work? Is it clear that the whole scene happened in the past? Is there a better way to convey this scene?:-|


“After hearing the reports, Alice’s mother mutely nodded and left the room," said Nick. "The doctor followed her out to give her some sleeping pills so she could have a dreamless sleep. I was left alone in Alice’s room with the girl’s father."

Cherry closed her eyes, and could imagine the scene clearly, as if she had been there that night. She could imagine her father’s strong voice, broken, tears cascading down his face. She could picture her uncle’s soft voice, talking gently, trying to console his brother, while trying to come to terms with his own pain. She let her uncle’s words, still talking in the background, to fill in the gaps where her imagination ended.

“Kyle,” Nick said. But he stopped, at a loss of words.

Kyle looked down at his daughter’s still form. “It hurts,” he said. “It hurts so much.”

“I know,” Nick whispered. “Now you know.”

Kyle whimpered. “Know?”

Nick nodded his head, and sighed. “You know what you have done to thousands of people.”

Kyle shook his head. “What have I done? They killed my daughter!”

Nick gripped his shoulder. “And you killed theirs.” Understanding dawned on the bereaved father’s face. “You killed parents, children, and siblings,” Nick continued. “You are the one who scared the people, terrified them, then murdered them. Look at her,” Nick commanded, pointing to the dead child. “Look at her! She was awake. She was terrified. You have done that.”

“Don’t…” Kyle croaked, his eyes wide, staring down at his daughter.

“You are the cause of hundreds of people’s suffering,” Nick continued. “Children who had to grow up without parents. Parents losing their precious children.”

“No…”

“Siblings missing their brother or sister. Aaron probably won’t even remember her.”

“Please…”

“You have caused other parents to feel what you are now feeling. Thousands of people, Kyle. On your head.”

“No!” Kyle yelled. “Stop! I can’t… I already did it! What can I do about it now? It’s too late. It’s all too late.”

“You can make a promise, Kyle, to never do it again.”

“I do,” said Kyle, looking down at his daughter. “I will never have anyone killed again.”

"Not good enough,” Nick said, harshly. “You’ll forget within a week.”

“I won’t,” said Kyle. “I’ll never…” he stopped and closed his eyes. He picked up his daughter’s still body and held her to his chest, not caring that he was getting blood all over himself.

“I swear,” he said, “on Alice,” he stopped for a moment, and took a deep breath. “I swear on Alice’s grave,” he said again. “That no one will ever feel this way again. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

Cherry opened her eyes, back at the table where her uncle was telling a story. She stared at her uncle in awe. She was seeing him in a totally new light.

“And as far as I know,” Uncle Nick said, “He hasn't broken that sacred promise. Until now.” :lol: