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    #1

    Which one is more formal? [First imprisoned versus First he was imprisoned]

    Hello,

    Please take a look at the two sentences below and tell me which one is more formal?

    First imprisoned aboard Royal Navy ships.
    versus
    First he was imprisoned aboard Royal Navy ships.
    Both of them make sense for me but the first one is somehow odd and if I had to use them I would definitely choose the second one. What's your opinion about them?

    Here is the whole context but I want that you see the sentences above in an isolation condition without anymore information. I'm interested in knowing your opinions towards the "imprisoned," according to the sentence below though.

    First imprisoned aboard Royal Navy ships, he was paroled in New York City, and finally released in a prisoner exchange in 1778.

    Thank you in advance,

  1. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Which one is more formal? [First imprisoned versus First he was imprisoned]

    Your first example is not a sentence.

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    #3

    Re: Which one is more formal? [First imprisoned versus First he was imprisoned]

    Quote Originally Posted by MikeNewYork View Post
    Your first example is not a sentence.

    Then would you please tell me what is it?

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    #4

    Re: Which one is more formal? [First imprisoned versus First he was imprisoned]

    It's a sentence fragment in the original context. It doesn't work as a sentence on its own.
    “Every miserable fool who has nothing at all of which he can be proud, adopts as a last resource pride in the nation to which he belongs; he is ready and happy to defend all its faults and follies tooth and nail, thus reimbursing himself for his own inferiority.”

    — Arthur Schopenhauer

  3. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Which one is more formal? [First imprisoned versus First he was imprisoned]

    It is a phrase. It lacks a verb.
    Last edited by MikeNewYork; 27-Sep-2015 at 00:20. Reason: typos

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    #6

    Re: Which one is more formal? [First imprisoned versus First he was imprisoned]

    There is a typo - phrase.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #7

    Re: Which one is more formal? [First imprisoned versus First he was imprisoned]

    ***** NOT A TEACHER *****

    I believe that some books feel that "First imprisoned aboard Royal Navy ships, he was paroled in New York City" is a snappy (cool-sounding) way to say:

    "He, [who was] first imprisoned aboard Royal Navy ships, was paroled in New York City."

    I believe that newspapers and especially news magazines (always eager to quickly grab readers' attention) are responsible for introducing such sentences.

    Thus, instead of "Mona, who was born into poverty, eventually became the queen of Jupiter" becomes "Born into poverty, Mona eventually became the queen of Jupiter."
    Last edited by TheParser; 27-Sep-2015 at 09:18.

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