A letter correction.

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Mr. Smith G.

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I’m so happy to know that my candidature presents interest for you and I’m confident that you will be satisfied with my work. My name is …….. . I’m 21 years old . I ‘m a citizen of ……… . I was born in a pituresque village of…….. where I spent all my childhood and completed high school . After that I moved to the capital, the city of ……… and obtained high education at the College of Informatics.

Now, I’m a student in distant education in the faculty of Management and Right at the University of…….
I like very much children and in the period of education I worked with success as a nanny . Since I was young I have liked to spend my time with children also with neighbor’s childen, to play and take care of them, as I’m from good and united family . I felt from my mother and
grandparents a lot of tenderness and care. I am a sincere ,amicable and intelligent person . My mother has cultivated in me the sense of care and responsability to other people .

In every event where there are children I am always in the center of attention . All children love me because they feel affection and love toward them . I can’t imagine my life without children .

I lead a healthy way of living, every morning I do gymnastics and in the evening I practise running . I eat correctly, only natural and fresh products , which consist vitamins and minerals . At school , I played in a volley and football teams. Also I attended dance and drama classes. I like to read a lot : fairy-tales, fantastic and also I prefer history of Greece and Egypt.
I decided to participate in the program Au-Pair because:

- I like children and I like to communicate witth them ;

- I’m a responsable and attentive person

- I don’t have bad habits

I would like to visit your country as an Au-Pair because I prefer the national spirit and rich history of

your country . I have visited Bulgaria , Russia and Ukraine as a tourist and after that a great interest appeared to visit other countries. I wish to get an education and to improve my language skills, to know better your traditions and culture.

Thank you very much for your attention and I hope that my candidature will interest you .

You can get in touch with me by email:

Or by telephone number
 
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teechar

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What do you mean by "custom housing?"
 

Mr. Smith G.

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Actually, a friend of mine wrote that, she wants to participate in an "Au Pair" program.
I checked it first, just delete "custom housing" and "I like embroidering and ironing" because it is not a reason to participate in a program like that. I just deleted that.
 
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bhaisahab

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Please do not edit your posts after someone has replied, unless asked to do so by a moderator.
 

teechar

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I'm [STRIKE]so happy to know that my candidature presents interest for you[/STRIKE] truly delighted to know that you're interested in my application for the au pair program, and I'm confident that you will be satisfied with my work. My name is …….., and I'm a 21 years old. I'm a citizen of ……… . I was born in the picturesque village of…….., where I spent all my childhood and completed high school. After that, I moved to the capital, the city of ……… and obtained my tertiary [STRIKE] high[/STRIKE] education at the College of Informatics. Now, I'm a distant-education student [STRIKE]in distant education[/STRIKE] in the faculty of Management and [STRIKE]Right[/STRIKE] at the University of…….

I [STRIKE]like[/STRIKE] very much like children, and [STRIKE]in the period of education[/STRIKE] as a student in high school, I successfully worked [STRIKE]with success[/STRIKE] as a nanny. [STRIKE]Since I was young[/STRIKE] I have always liked to spend my time with children ever since I was young, [STRIKE] also[/STRIKE] even with neighbor’s children, to play with and take care of them. [STRIKE]as I’m[/STRIKE] I come from a good, traditional and united family, [STRIKE] I felt from my mother and grandparents a lot[/STRIKE] with plenty of tenderness and care. I am a sincere, amicable and intelligent person. My mother has cultivated in me the sense of care and responsibility towards other people.

In every event where there are children, I am always [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] the center of attention; [STRIKE]All[/STRIKE] children love me because they feel my genuine affection and love toward them. I can't imagine my life without children.

Furthermore, I lead a healthy life; [STRIKE]way of living,[/STRIKE] every morning I do gymnastics, and in the evening I [STRIKE]practise[/STRIKE] go running. I eat [STRIKE]correctly,[/STRIKE] only natural, healthy and fresh food. [STRIKE]products , which consist vitamins and minerals .[/STRIKE] At school, I played in the volleyball and football teams. [STRIKE]Also[/STRIKE] I also attended dance and drama classes. I like to read a lot, especially fairy-tale and fantasy stories, and I [STRIKE]also I prefer[/STRIKE] like Egyptian and Greek history. [STRIKE]of Greece and Egypt.[/STRIKE]

I [STRIKE]decided to participate in [/STRIKE] believe that I'm a suitable candidate for the au pair program [STRIKE]Au-Pair[/STRIKE] because:

- I like children, and I like [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] communicating with them;

- I'm a responsible and attentive person;

- I don't have bad habits.

I would like to visit your country as an au pair [STRIKE]Au-Pair[/STRIKE] because I'm fascinated by [STRIKE]prefer[/STRIKE] the national spirit and rich history of your country. I have visited Bulgaria, Russia and Ukraine as a tourist, and have since [STRIKE] after that[/STRIKE] had a great interest [STRIKE]appeared to visit[/STRIKE] in visiting other countries. I wish to [STRIKE]get an[/STRIKE] further my education and to improve my language skills as well as to [STRIKE]know better[/STRIKE] learn more about your traditions and culture.

Thank you very much for your attention, and I look forward to your positive reply. [STRIKE]hope that my candidature will interest you .[/STRIKE]

[STRIKE]You can get in touch with me by email

Or by telephone number
[/STRIKE]

Yours faithfully,

Kathy Owens,
email:
phone:

Note: "Right" doesn't make sense in "the faculty of Management and Right." The word has been mistranslated.
 

emsr2d2

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In case it wasn't clear from the previous post, one of the big problems in that letter was the incorrect spacing around punctuation. Don't leave a space before a full stop, comma, semi-colon, question mark or exclamation mark.

Was this entire piece written by your friend who wants a place on an au pair program? If so, I suggest that you recommend she joins the forum and posts here herself.
 
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