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  1. Just Joined
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      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Oct 2015
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Comprehension

    Hello,
    What could be wrong with this article? I wrote for a client and he left a very caustic review. He said: "This article is very, very poorly written. It is the worst I have ever come across. It seems like it has been written by a person who doesn't speak English at all." Please read the article and tell me what could be wrong to warrant such a scathing rebuke.

    The article is here:

    '5 Must-Know Facts about Cannabidiol

    1.0. Introduction
    The discovery of a compound called cannabidiol (CBD) in hemp has reignited the debate on the use of marijuana as medicine. Previously, attention was riveted on THC, another ingredient of marijuana responsible for making users high. Below, find 5 must-know facts about this compound that have made it a subject of ongoing scientific debate.

    2.0. Cannabidiol Can Cure Schizophrenia
    As per a preliminary clinical trial, cannabidiol can treat schizophrenia just as effectively as any other antipsychotic medication. Interestingly, patients treated using this compound did not exhibit the side effects usually seen with other antipsychotic drugs.
    Cannabidiol’s behavior seems to be antipodal to that of THC. THC produces psychotic effects in both humans and animals and can worsen Schizophrenia.

    3.0. Cannabidiol is Antipsychotic
    Cannabidiol is antipsychotic because it doesn’t act on the same channels as its counterpart, THC. The channels, known as CB1 receptors, and so much concentrated in the brain, account for the psycho-altering effects of THC.
    This quality makes cannabidiol more acceptable to health professionals as they prefer treatments with reduced side effects.

    4.0. Cannabidiol Countervails the Negative Effects of THC
    A rising body of evidence reveals that CBD cushions users of marijuana from the severe intoxicating effects of THC, which include paranoia and memory loss.
    CBD also countervails the soporific effects of THC.

    5.0. CBD is a Panacea to Cure a Vast Number of Diseases and Conditions
    A 2013 research shows that CBD possesses prodigious healing potential. For instance, it is an antioxidant that can fight many of the well-known neurodegenerative disorders. It can also combat cancer and kill cancer cells as it is deemed anti-tumoral.

    6.0. CBD is Still Illegal in Many Parts of the World
    Despite the impressive array of benefits and the obvious solutions that the use of this compound portends, it is still illegal in many parts of the world.'
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 18-Oct-2015 at 13:09. Reason: Added line breaks between points to make it more readable

  2. Eckaslike's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Wales

    • Join Date: Jul 2015
    • Posts: 574
    #2

    Re: Comprehension

    Hello, and welcome to the forum.

    I think part of the problem is that some of the phrasing isn't really that natural. It also may not help that your article is entitled "5 Must-Know Facts about Cannabidiol", but your numbered points include the introduction and go up to six.

    The reviewer sounds very frustrated; but their comments were really very harsh.

    The changes I would make are shown below.

    Quote Originally Posted by Omwanza View Post
    '5 Must-Know Facts about Cannabidiol

    1.0. Introduction
    The discovery of a compound called cannabidiol (CBD) in hemp has reignited the debate on the use of marijuana as medicine. Previously, attention was riveted focused on THC, another ingredient of marijuana, that is responsible for making users high. Below, find 5 Here are five must-know facts about this compound that have made it a subject of ongoing scientific debate.:

    1. 2.0. Cannabidiol Can Cure Schizophrenia
    As per a A preliminary clinical trial [in 20??] has shown that cannabidiol can treat schizophrenia just as effectively as any other antipsychotic medication. Interestingly, patients treated using this compound did not exhibit the side effects usually seen with other antipsychotic drugs.
    Cannabidiol’s behavior seems appears to be antipodal the opposite to that of THC. THC produces psychotic effects in both humans and animals and can worsen Schizophrenia.

    2. 3.0. Cannabidiol is Antipsychotic
    Cannabidiol is antipsychotic because it doesn’t act on the same channels as its counterpart, THC. The THC affected channels, known as CB1 receptors, and so much are concentrated in the brain, and therefore account for the psycho-altering effects of THC the substance. This quality makes cannabidiol more acceptable to health professionals as they prefer treatments with reduced side effects.

    3. 4.0. Cannabidiol Countervails Counteracts the Negative Effects of THC
    An rising increasing body of evidence reveals that CBD cushions users of marijuana from the severe intoxicating effects of THC, and from side effects which include paranoia and memory loss. CBD also countervails counteracts the soporific effects of THC.

    4. 5.0. CBD is a Panacea to Cure a Vast Number of Diseases and Conditions
    A 2013 research study shows that CBD possesses a prodigious healing potential. For instance, it is an antioxidant that can fight many of the well-known neurodegenerative disorders. It can also combat cancer and kill cancer cells as it is deemed to be anti-tumoral.

    5. 6.0. CBD is Still Illegal in Many Parts of the World
    Despite the impressive array of benefits and the obvious solutions that the use of this compound portends promises, it is still illegal in many parts of the world.'
    Last edited by Eckaslike; 18-Oct-2015 at 21:39.

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