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    #1

    Cool Song October days (Explanation and first verse)

    In this song I need act out melancholy feelings of a romantic love than begins in spring and ends in the first days of October.

    The song plays with the springtime(Begining of love, sunny days, windy days) and the passing of the months with the change weather(End of love, rainy days, windless days.)

    First verse:
    October days, no wind today.
    a spring day, rainy and windy.
    That's when you whispered in my ear, and...
    happened that the air fell in love with the wind.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Song October days (Explanation and first verse)

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyThanks View Post
    In this song, I need to act out convey melancholy feelings of a romantic love that begins in spring and ends in the first days of October.

    The song plays with the springtime (beginning of love, sunny days, windy days) and the passing of the months with the changing (or "change of") weather (space here) (End of love, rainy days, windless days.)

    First verse:
    October days, no wind today.
    a spring day, rainy and windy.
    That's when you whispered in my ear, and...
    happened that the air fell in love with the wind.
    I like your verse but I should point out that "and ... happened that ..." is not grammatical. Now, it's not necessary for song lyrics to be grammatical but grammar is usually sacrificed for reason of rhyme or rhythm. Neither seems to be the case with your last line. In fact, the whole verse does not rhyme or scan. That is not, in itself, a problem.
    If it were me, I would remove "happened that" and simply leave "and ... the air fell in love with the wind" (an idea that I really like!)

    Note my other corrections to your post, marked in red.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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