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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
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    #1

    A young man

    Hello, can anyone please check the following sentence. I would very much appreciate it, thanks in advance.

    Short description
    A young man, Marudheeran, travels back in time machine to a fantasy kingdom to save its queen from the tyrant commander Sudeep.

    Long description
    Marudheeran is a meek child growing up in an enslaved village coming under the oppressive rule of the blue-eyed monstrous 'Vedalam' group who burden the people with enormous taxes and kill on whim. When his wife is kidnapped for sacrifice by the Vedalam Queen and her commander in-chief, Marudheeran takes a journey to their impenetrable fort in order to retrieve her and put an end to the tyranny.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: A young man

    Don't you think the time machine should be mentioned in both the short and long descriptions? It sounds to me like it might be rather vital to the plot.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
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    #3

    Re: A young man

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Don't you think the time machine should be mentioned in both the short and long descriptions? It sounds to me like it might be rather vital to the plot.
    Alright, thank you for your suggestion, emsr2d2. I'll amend accordingly and will re-send as soon as possible. Apart from that, is there a grammar mistakes in the summary description?

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