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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hindi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Apr 2015
    • Posts: 376
    #1

    I want to write an email

    I want to write an email as below. Is the same correct? Is there any other better way write it? P

    Dear Ram,

    As discussed, We (alongwith Kishorilal and Himanshu) will visit Plant on 23rd November, 2015 for 2 to 3 days to understand the documentation for Budget/Policy Implementation.

    Please confirm your availability.

    Kishori lal and Himanshu→ Please plan your work accordingly.

    Angel→ Please do the necessary arrangements for tickets and stay of KL and Himanshu.


    Thanks & Regards
    Anil

  1. Dena11's Avatar
    • Member Info
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      • English
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      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Oct 2015
    • Posts: 34
    #2

    Re: I want to write an email

    Hi Suniljan, I'd suggest a couple of changes.

    Dear Ram,

    As discussed, we (as well as Kishorilal and Himanshu) will
    visit the plant on Nov. 23, 2015 for 2 to 3 days. Our goal is
    to gain an understanding of the Budget/Policy
    Implementation documentation. Please confirm your availability.

    Kishori lal and Himanshu, please plan your work accordingly.

    Angel, please make the necessary arrangements for tickets
    and lodging for KL and Himanshu.

    Thanks & Regards


    On the first line if the people who are going are you, Kishorilal, and Himanshu, and noone else, I'd suggest you replace this: we (as well as Kishorilal and Himanshu)

    with this: Kishorilal, Himanshu, and I

    I Hope this is helpful.

    Best Regards,

    Dena

    p.s. I am not a teacher, but I am a professional writer and editor.
    Last edited by Dena11; 27-Oct-2015 at 19:59. Reason: expanding on the original reply

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