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      • Native Language:
      • Vietnamese
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      • Vietnam
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      • Vietnam

    • Join Date: Oct 2015
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    #1

    Lightbulb Please help me check the grammar and make my presentation better.

    Most of the people are living in unremarkable life.We are not richer, not famous and don’t have power of great leadership. However hard we try, we must face the truth. Almost all of us will never be one of them. Without unity, our voice is weak and alone. It can’t make any change in this big world. And in the end, it will follow us leave this world forever. Due to the fact, we are nobody.
    But this reality can be actually changed by a new invention
    THIENY(Proper noun)
    It’s invented to combine human mind and computer network as one. And the achievement will be the great intelligence. ThienY need a lot of people to activate. Computer network is use to connect all people’s minds. And every mind become a thought generation and processing unit of ThienY. Every time you have a thought, it will be transmit to all people in ThienY. People decide to agree with that thought or not. And then the system will collect the votes. One the thought get support of the majority of minds, it become ThienY’s voice. Thousands minds are united and speak out loud. In order that, your voice is no longer alone because you know a lot of people are supporting it. And it is obviously much more stronger than any word which come from any body
    Thieny change the way we join in the big events in our society,such as: music concert,meeting,game show... we do not just sit there and watch. We really shall be a part of the event, keep effecting to what is happening in event.
    We don’t need the interviewer to talk to famous people,Thieny can have a natural and friendly conversations with anyone. Now, we can speak up everywhere we want.
    We are no longer nobody
    We are ThienY.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 01-Nov-2015 at 17:14. Reason: Fixed formatting.

  1. teechar's Avatar
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      • Iraq
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      • Iraq

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    #2

    Re: Please help me check the grammar and make my presentation better.

    Is this homework?

    • Member Info
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    #3

    Re: Please help me check the grammar and make my presentation better.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Is this homework?
    No, this is my project. I'm developing a social network application. I made a video presentation to publish this idea. I not speak perfect English, so please help me! And how do you think about my idea?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Vietnamese
      • Home Country:
      • Vietnam
      • Current Location:
      • Vietnam

    • Join Date: Oct 2015
    • Posts: 5
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    #4

    Re: Please help me check the grammar and make my presentation better.

    Someone help me please!
    I'm programmer and this is my project that i'm developing. I really belive this application will have effect to our life. It will help us a lot, so help me to help yourself

    Thanks!
    Last edited by vanthien; 01-Nov-2015 at 11:30.

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