Results 1 to 6 of 6
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Serbo-Croatian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 3,588
    #1

    With nothing remarkable

    This is a sentence from my short story. I am wondering if someone could take a look at it and correct it. I am not sure if it sounds natural.

    She was a plain, short woman in her forties, with nothing remarkable about her looks but for her long red hair that fell down her back.
    Last edited by Bassim; 14-Nov-2015 at 23:10.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,843
    #2

    Re: With nothing remarkable

    I would remove "looks".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  2. Roman55's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: Feb 2014
    • Posts: 2,309
    #3

    Re: With nothing remarkable

    I am not a teacher.

    I would replace 'looks' with 'appearance' because that seems to be the point of the sentence. She could, after all, be remarkable in other ways.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,843
    #4

    Re: With nothing remarkable

    That's true. Perhaps she's a plain, short, long-haired woman in her forties who has scaled Kilimanjaro sixteen times!
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Serbo-Croatian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 3,588
    #5

    Re: With nothing remarkable

    emsr2d2
    In my story she is a journalist, a hypocrite who pretends to love immigrants, but as soon as she gets new neighbours from Iraq she becomes upset.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,843
    #6

    Re: With nothing remarkable

    I wasn't trying to guess what her role in the story was. I was making up a rather silly example of something which might be remarkable about her, as a response to Roman55's well-made point.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Similar Threads

  1. During his remarkable career
    By Freeguy in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 25-Dec-2013, 17:24
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-Jun-2012, 10:19
  3. a remarkable creature
    By sitifan in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 30-Aug-2011, 10:31
  4. remarkable in the world?
    By sky753 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-Oct-2008, 11:27
  5. remarkable/extradinary insight
    By angliholic in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 19-Jan-2008, 02:08

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •